b3ta.com user DustyMonkey
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» That's when I knew it was over...

When my boss found out...
...that i'd had a bit of a threesome with his teenage niece and another co-worker. Well, what can I say, it was the Australian outback and I was bored...
(Thu 21st Jul 2005, 13:25, More)

» Sacked

Aussie outback stations are exploitative cnuts
Backpacking in Australia, I took on some fairly poor jobs, all to finance my travels.

Worst of the bunch would have to be King's Creek camel station out near Alice Springs. Run by a really odd family of bushpigs, and their alcoholic monkey named Moz.

They expected 6 12 hour days a week from you, no perks at all, miles from any form of entertainment, even a pub, so I decided to erm entertain myself with one of the Aussie helicopter pilots. He was 21 and single, I was 22 and ditto, surely no problem there? Except that one morning after said helicopter pilot had gone to work, I was caught having breakfast in my nightie with his 33-year-old married colleague by one of the bushpigs. It was all perfectly innocent but they made their smallminded assumptions about it.

Rather than do the decent thing and have it out with me upfront, allowing me to make my case, they made petty issue with me for the next couple of weeks - accusing me of giving the older pilot 'too many chips' from the canteen (how this is possible in a standard size standard chip container they didn't make clear...) and accusing me of not pulling my weight when it was MY DAY OFF! etc etc

For some reason I put up with this cack, until I was unceremoniously sacked, and told I was out of there on a bus that very morning! Presumably they didn't tell me the day before because they knew I would've partied the night away with my friends and no one would've been fit to work the following day.

Anyway, it wasn't all that bad, I got a free tour round the sights of Ayres Rock, Kings Canyon etc cos the bus driver was a mate of the pilot I was getting jiggy with!


Apologise for length (so did he)
(Fri 24th Feb 2006, 17:11, More)

» Secret Santa

Naughty druggy badness
Had our secret santa last night, and my santa slipped some illegal narcotics into my present. Result.

Merry Christmas one and all!
(Tue 19th Dec 2006, 11:14, More)

» I hurt my rude bits

Mint flavour condoms...
...should not, under any circumstances, be used for penetration!

At a party with my then boyfriend and wanting to get jiggy, but no johnny to hand, oh dear. 'Friend' kindly offers us one of his, we get down to business and oh dear lord, it is wrong wrong wrong!

For the next 24 hours or so my lady bits feel like they've been plunged into absolute zero conditions. Not pleasant!

It's probably somehow karmic that my current boyfriend is having bowstring fragility issues, so it's my turn to inflict pain with my good lovin'. He's booked in for the op in September and is cacking it.

Length and girth will hopefully be the same post-operation.
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 10:46, More)

» Posh

I'm supposedly related to Anne Boleyn
According to a family tree my posh gran got made up. I haven't inherited the sixth finger, but I do have a taste for utter womanising bastards. It's uncanny!
(Fri 16th Sep 2005, 13:23, More)
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