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- a member for 19 years, 0 months and 6 days
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» When I met the parents
Which finishing school was that?
Boyfriend meets mother for first time. We're enjoying a nice meal in a nice restaurant. Mother leans over onto one buttock (in my direction) thereby allowing her to let off loud fart in boyfriend's direction. She does not stop speaking throughout.
Mind you, he married me, so it can't have been that smelly.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 18:10, More)
Which finishing school was that?
Boyfriend meets mother for first time. We're enjoying a nice meal in a nice restaurant. Mother leans over onto one buttock (in my direction) thereby allowing her to let off loud fart in boyfriend's direction. She does not stop speaking throughout.
Mind you, he married me, so it can't have been that smelly.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 18:10, More)
» Now, there was no need for that...
illness, worms & ex in-laws
A few years ago Mr thecatsapprentice was very ill (pneumonia) - started off with leg twice usual size and went downhill from there:
- in hospital just before xmas, breathing painful, unable to sleep, both lungs (double pneumonia) full of gunk;
- nurse provides medication which causes sickness, sick bowl thus reveals the inch long worm that has been residing in his belly since his last plate of seafood;
The 'there was no need for that' bit was being unable to get home for Xmas and having to spend it with his the parents of his ex girlfriend (she the dumpee).
Oh, and when he got pneumonia again on our honeymoon I thought he was being whingey-man- with-cold so ordered him on plane to Mexico, where he ended up laid up in bed getting injections of antibiotics to the bum every 12 hours - whilst I sunned myself on the beach (our marriage being based on mutual understanding). Still, at least he can say he spent the first 4 days of his honeymoon in bed...
(Thu 16th Jun 2005, 10:56, More)
illness, worms & ex in-laws
A few years ago Mr thecatsapprentice was very ill (pneumonia) - started off with leg twice usual size and went downhill from there:
- in hospital just before xmas, breathing painful, unable to sleep, both lungs (double pneumonia) full of gunk;
- nurse provides medication which causes sickness, sick bowl thus reveals the inch long worm that has been residing in his belly since his last plate of seafood;
The 'there was no need for that' bit was being unable to get home for Xmas and having to spend it with his the parents of his ex girlfriend (she the dumpee).
Oh, and when he got pneumonia again on our honeymoon I thought he was being whingey-man- with-cold so ordered him on plane to Mexico, where he ended up laid up in bed getting injections of antibiotics to the bum every 12 hours - whilst I sunned myself on the beach (our marriage being based on mutual understanding). Still, at least he can say he spent the first 4 days of his honeymoon in bed...
(Thu 16th Jun 2005, 10:56, More)
» When I met the parents
Waltzing Matilda
Meeting husband's entire family for the first time (obviously in Scotland must meet ENTIRE family, not just parents, and yes, they are all drunk on Morgan's Spiced and Irn Bru). So we get to the now-familiar sing song bit of the night (about half an hour in) and, bizarrely, in between the we-hate-the-english songs they keep returning to Waltzing Matilda. Eventually, Mr thecatsapprentice asks why (I am too traumatised to do more than burrow into chair) we find that the rumour has gone round that I'm Australian. They are corrected and thus revert to the anti-english entertainment. I am english. Yay.
(Fri 20th May 2005, 16:41, More)
Waltzing Matilda
Meeting husband's entire family for the first time (obviously in Scotland must meet ENTIRE family, not just parents, and yes, they are all drunk on Morgan's Spiced and Irn Bru). So we get to the now-familiar sing song bit of the night (about half an hour in) and, bizarrely, in between the we-hate-the-english songs they keep returning to Waltzing Matilda. Eventually, Mr thecatsapprentice asks why (I am too traumatised to do more than burrow into chair) we find that the rumour has gone round that I'm Australian. They are corrected and thus revert to the anti-english entertainment. I am english. Yay.
(Fri 20th May 2005, 16:41, More)