» When animals attack...

Its only a joke... but it made my day when i heard it!
Two dogs in a vet waiting room:

Big Dog: Evenin' small-dog, what you here for then?

Small Dog: Aw, its embarrasing. When my missus, a beautiful leggy blond woman, bend over the bath naked, I couldnt help myself.. I had to hump 'er then and there...

Big Dog: Yeah, Me too, I know how you feel mate...

Small Dog: Oh so you here to get yer bits chopped off too then?

Big Dog: Ha! No way mate! - i'm just gettin my claws clipped...

As for real life? - A school friends mum used to pick us both up from school, and bring a big hairy smelly dog in the car. This dog used to leap out of the car, run up to me, and stuff a big wet breathy nose right up my school skirt and into my pants!

Nothing would deter it... I ran, and it ran faster. I tried kicking out, but it just got excited. And it was so big that it took two people to haul it off me. - I took to standing on the wall to avoid it, the dog learned to jump...

All the school-boys would wait to watch and laugh at me struggle (chivalry? WTF?). I dont think i have ever been so embarrassed on a daily basis since then. And i can still vividly recall the feeling of something cold and wet sliding up the inside of my thigh under my school skirt... perhaps that's why i'm still not keen on school uniform nites-out!!!
(Sat 4th Jun 2005, 19:55, More)