b3ta.com user Chutney_Pie
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my name is Sam and I tell war stories, but there not real.

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» Crap meals out

Not my worst meal ever (as I worked there at the time), but Im pretty sure the customers have not come back after the band of gypsies shit on the floor and preceded to wank into condoms and throw them at the windows. They were ginger Gypos too, the kind with monobrows.
(Thu 27th Apr 2006, 21:36, More)

» Shit Stories

Poo Chart
Me and my friends got taken to some activity center place mid wales. The activity center didnt have any activitys. The main one was sitting inside whilst it pissed down.

It was also the local village reasturant / post office/ town hall thing and had a huge blackboard with chalk there. Being bored as we were we decided to turn the blackboard into the Poo Chart and it featured all of our names and the 5 days we were staying there.

The idea was to give your poo a mark out of 10 and give it a nickname. We didnt write what the chart was for, to everyone else it was a graph with "7/10 The Silencer" etc on it

One of my friends had managed no hold one in for aabout 3/4 days, whilst the rest of us knocked up a impressive 5 or 6. Oh the joy we had filling in "10/10 The Bizmark" for him.

another story, Me and a few friends went to the cinema to see a film. Whilst we were there me and 2 of my mates decided to goto the loo. I went in one cubicle and my friend in the one next to it. Joking around my friend starts shouting "Thats it baby, I wanna hear it plop" etc. I quickly finished and exited the cubicle to find my friend in the corner pissing himself and some random bloke giving me a funny look.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 17:55, More)

» I witnessed a crime

Chester Genious
I was just outside HMV in Chester when the alarms went off and a local man of the Chav agency came storming out the doors followed by 2 huge security guards.
Im aim of distracting his followers the Chav threw the stolen DVD in the air, which then landed at my feet. The security guards then chased the chap down and gave him a jolly good seeing too.

What DVD did he steal? £10 Rambo Boxset
(Wed 20th Feb 2008, 14:37, More)

» Office Christmas Parties

I think we were the bad ones
For our xmas party this year we arranged for drinks with our lecturers in the students union in uni.
The night ended with the sober lecturer driving home at 1:30am (he was meant to be in at 11), and the other 2 lecturers being thrown out by security for being too pissed
(Fri 17th Dec 2004, 11:35, More)

» Premonitions

I dont know if this counts...
I keep on having dreams of owning this really cool ski hat I saw in a shop. Then it started snowing, yesterday I booked a skiing holiday, hazaa!
(Tue 23rd Nov 2004, 17:07, More)
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