b3ta.com user Hot Lemon
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» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

National Service
My grandad spent years trying to avoid National Service, his view was thats as he wasnt english he could work in England but avoid their army.

Anyways him and his brother, gave the Army the run-around for a bit. Until after laying pipes in front of some army type building they sent a letter home saying: haha they won't catch up with us, we were right under their noses...

The next letter started with the phrase "well its nice and sunny here in Malaysia"...my grandad fondly remembered his army days there
(Sun 26th Mar 2006, 15:27, More)

» Join us... come join the cult

Corporate brainwashing
HSBC keep phoning me asking if i want "their new current account, with competative intrerest rates, buy now in the half-price sale" (obviusly a subtle euphemism for enternal life and God's love)

The pressure is starting to get to me, i might crack...what if i dont buy in the half-price sale, i might have to pay more for my money!!

I'd apologise for length, but The Church of the Local Bank is calling...
(Fri 27th Jan 2006, 20:38, More)

» When animals attack...

from on high
Went to a scary french zoo at the tender age of 4, it was all exciting and there was a sort of compund you could walk through and the giraffes, zebras and other such animals in there were all tame and didnt really care.

Anyway, there i was merrily going about my business walking through said compound when i was drenched with warm liquid, literally from head to toe.....oooh dear.....you guessed it, it was a giraffe relieving itself onto my small form :'(

never really lived it down....at least none of my friends know :D

[woo! its my first time]
(Thu 2nd Jun 2005, 19:51, More)

» Accidentally Erotic

The sudden adrenaline rush or something always leaves me a bit um flustered!

Plus those things vibrate a hell of a lot (im a girl btw)

Woo! that is all...

P.S. my mate reckons German gives him teh horn, the language not the people....he's a strange boy
(Sun 5th Feb 2006, 17:29, More)