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» Weird Traditions

Jesus Saves
I've just remembered my odd tradition.

I used to drive between the Midlands and London quite a bit. On my way back from London up the M1 there was some graffiti on a M'Way bridge, it read "Jesus Saves".

My tradition was to shout "Jesus Saves!! But Moses gets it on the rebound". It left a glowing feeling in my tum knowing I was only 1/2 hour away from home.

(PS don't do this in a car full it scared my passenger).

And with that my B3TA cherry explodes in a red soggy mess.
(Thu 28th Jul 2005, 16:43, More)

» Pubs

"Oh I wanna be your Custard sliiiice!"
Many years ago my mate and his good lady moved to a villiage south of Leicester (No thats not the funny part). As part of our manly duties we sought out the pubs in the area for a place to escape.

One of the pubs we went into became a firm favourite. It was an old fashioned boozer. Nope none of that oak and fireplace crap for this place it was a place to drink. It even had the old fashinoed meat raffle and strange blokes asleep in the gents! We walked in and all the locals shifted nervously in their seats. We were being watched as we ordered our beery goodness.

By our second trip to this pub we were now "regulars". I think we must have been the first new customers in decade. But one night was extra special they had a live band on. The night wasn't too bad. I was trying not to get stabbed by the guy staring daggers at me because his girlfriend is locked to the side of me giving me the eye while my mate is pushing me in her direction.

Anyhoo this band weren't too bad but one like will stick burned forever in my memory. I tuned into what the singer was shouting when he then sang (Best read in gruff northern accent) "Oh I wanna be your Custard sliiiice!".

The local nutter at the pub near me pales into comparison (He mimed on the karaoke).

Face it you're envious of the length but remember its the girth that provides the mirth.
(Wed 11th Feb 2009, 20:58, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

On the road to No-ware
On a sign on the A10 near Ware some mong tried to make a political statement.

The sign used to read "Ware" but they decided to change it to No War by crossing out the E. But they made a spazzy job of it so it reads "No Ware" nowhere! see geddit, ah sod ya.

Apoloigse for the length? Ok then but its the girth that provides the mirth!
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 19:51, More)