b3ta.com user hamstrungbarber
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» Have you ever paid for sex?

ive paid for hugs. i like hugs. seriously i would pay 10p for a hug (i once pre-bought five at once).
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 19:48, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Surely you remember this
Those reading books in primary schools? The most pretentious (and patronising) book was the first. It's called 'Look'. On every page there is one word. Look. This continues for several pages, possibly taxing the reader to search for more words. On the last page, you will find them. 'Look at that'. Yes, look at that, you've just wasted my fucking time, and now I'm last in line for the tuck shop you WANKER!
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 19:59, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

i finally have a story to post!
in 2001 my school went on 50/50 the kids gameshow. we were SO excited! on the bus to glasgow we were extremely nervous, being on telly and all. we got to the studios in glasgow, and expecting to be shown in to a very plush building with lots of celebrities, we were taken into a house opposite them. the food offered was jacket potatoes and muffins, the first of the bbc cheats!

finally it was time to film, and when i had watched 50/50 before i had always enjoyed it. now i wonder why. here are the things i'm pissed off at the bbc for:

*i, number 25, did not get chosen for a single game or even question
*they forced us to cheer constantly, which hurt my arms
*the presenter wasn't the one i expected, less of a celebrity
*'flynn' i think his name was, the voice, was actually a man behind a little table in plain view
*the opposing team only had 49 kids turn up, so one of ours had to make up their numbers
*then their team won

that was my claim to fame anyway, being on 50/50 and being dissapointed by the bbc - if this wasn't child slave labour then what is!?
(Sat 27th May 2006, 22:24, More)

» Fire!

when i was younger
i liked the smell of burning matches. so i smelled one and burned the inside of my nose...
(Fri 4th Nov 2005, 16:10, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

we have an art teacher at our school
who thinks if you make it, its art. as soon as we all caught on, art lessons were soooo easy!!! a piece of card here, a splash of paint there, a giant chunk of polystyrene on top...tada! a 'maquette' (wtf?) of a piece of public art to go in hull city centre!

(this got me a level 6 by the way. how i laughed)
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 20:15, More)
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