b3ta.com user 36poison
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» Kids

revenge, but...
I work in a secondary school - it's mostly pretty decent.

However, one of the kids in my class, Darren, is a total pain in the arse. Sharp little bngger, but thick. Not well loved by the other kids as he's so bloody unpredictable. Probably earn double my salary in 10 years.

End of one lunchtime I run into him in the 'Language Corridor' and he's fannying about as usual.

Except this time he doesn't have an audience. Weirdly, all the other kids have ended up in the classes where they should be.

Darren's so intent on not getting to Ms. G*r*ld's French Class that he doesn't clock me until I (fairly gently I must admit) boot him up the arse.

Darren: "Eh!? You carn't do that!"

Me: "Aye, and who they gonna believe? Me? Or you?"

We get on fine now.
(Thu 17th Apr 2008, 21:29, More)

» Apparently I'm a sex offender

Apparently I look like a sex offender
...thus demonstrating a consistent attitude towards the police that remains to this day...

About the age of 12 I was walking down a main road with a schoolfriend of mine. We were stopped by a lone policeman who informed us that he had heard reports of someone fitting our description (we look very different) flashing.

My immediate response was "So, Do flashers normally go around in pairs?"

End of conversation - he just wandered off.
(Fri 18th Aug 2006, 11:24, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Queen
.
(Fri 30th Sep 2005, 13:50, More)

» I was drunk when I bought this

.
Carling Black Label
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 16:41, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Mini Stalin
I had a neighbour who was a friendly, fairly pleasant but intense former Special Forces soldier who used to give me his proposals for better forms of government to proof read.
It boiled down to doing away with elections and putting "reliable professionals" in charge.... Or 'Dictatorship' as it used to be known. I was too scared to tell him I thought it was a load of reactionary old bollocks. He'd have got on well with TB.
(Fri 26th Aug 2005, 17:04, More)
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