b3ta.com user pipipiper
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» Mugged

It was a sunny afternoon and I was standing in a doorway in Birmingham (this isn't the genius part). A rather aggressive hoodie type approached me and put a knife to my throat. He took my bag and the packet of cigarettes from my pocket. As he walked back out into the throng of daytime shoppers he started shouting "stop shouting, I just don't love you anymore" "I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE".

As much as I was gutted by being mugged, I just had to think... Genius...
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 0:36, More)

» Mums

Wedding Photo
My mum tatty shopped my wedding photos to make me look thinner and sent them to relatives with the instruction to "Delete the original fat ones". Bless
(Fri 12th Feb 2010, 23:39, More)

» Anything For Money

Cow Scarer
I had a job driving a golf buggy around the overspill car park at Henley Regatta. I had to use the buggy in a threatening manner in order to scare the cows away from the cars. On top of £10 a day I also got some mineral water and a sack of humbugs.
(Thu 10th Jul 2014, 20:01, More)