b3ta.com user KS2
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» When I met the parents

Nice old boy...
Midnight. Pub to her front room. Parents sleeping directly above. House volume turned to max, each creek is deafening - we creep and fool around silently.

On leaving, attempt the stealth "slow-touch" technique to soundlessly turn on the hall light and rearrange clothes, locate shoes...

Said "light switch" - the panic button for the house alarm, floodlights the front of the house, sends out 1000 deicibel shriek and sends the father naked down the stairs to brain the intruder.

Didn't stay around for, or get offered, a cuppa. But did hugely enjoy the walk of shame, shoes (and underclothing) in hand, as each and every bedroom curtain twitched along her street.
(Tue 24th May 2005, 21:30, More)