» The worst sex I ever had

Back in Glasgow when I was a piercing nut...
When I was say, 14, there was a girl I'll refer to as Elle...This poor creature had some terrible eczema all over and a gaping hole where self-esteem should have been.

I had in the week previous to my 14th birthday, got drunk and made out with her in a place near Argyle street where all us "gothics" as the neds loved to shout, would hang out.

I "dumped" her within hours as I sobered up and realised she thought this meant we were an item and had been jubilantly telling girls I knew about my awesome cock(Thanks Elle, you got me mucho laid later)...

Now with my B'day approaching fast and being horny and stupid, I answer a call from Elle whereupon she proceeds to entice me into doing it with her...and honestly, for such a not very attractive girl...she had a GREAT way with words. Some things were suggested and I said she should come over on my birthday and do them as a "gift".

I decided in the next few days to give myself a new piercing...a septum piercing(bullring for all you tard-mericans who don't know what it is)...my method involved heating a sharpened kilt pin to "burn off germs", then cooling it and wapping it through my septum...hurt like a bitch but transcendent feeling afterwards...anyway...on my birthday...8am no less, comes a tapping on my window...

"Happy Birthday" she says as she climbs in the window(I still lived with ma and pa) and proceeds to strip...now although covered in eczema. her body was pretty svelte and she was making inroads to touching my tadger so we proceed to the bed where passionate, closed-eye smooching and fervent, grinding and wanking could begin...I all of a sudden feel real wet and thought to myself "wow, she's got me really sweaty already?"

Open my eyes to find my nose PISHING blood on her tits, face...everything...

she's laying on her back, eczema sores glistening with my fresh blood, her eyes closed and still writhing on my fingers.

Killed my boner as quick as Simon Weston's face.

Never saw her again after I kicked her out of my house. funny that...

/take that length inside youse.
(Thu 21st Jun 2007, 22:54, More)