b3ta.com user RR
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» Sacked

Damn you, Truancy Officers!!!
I once had a job driving a big, yellow JCB...

...but I got fired for letting my 5 year old son Luke bunk off school to drive round with me all day. Apparently this contravened a number of Health and Safety regulations...

Mr B Lee.
(Tue 28th Feb 2006, 14:00, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Cheers lads...
After returning to Uni a month after getting my face in the way of a nasty gas explosion accident at work, my sympathetic housemates instantly bestowed on me the nickname of...Nikki Lauder.

BTW - The scars have all disappeared now. Apart from the mental ones...
(Mon 22nd May 2006, 13:23, More)

» Child Labour

The delights of a Commercial Kitchen
At the tender age of 14 I was 'encouraged' by my Dad to go and get a weekend job. So out I went and ended up in the plum-job of potwasher for a rather well known chain of pub/restaurants. And 'lo, my lazy Sundays of playing sensible soccer on the Amiga were replaced by endless piles of shitty plates (which are hotter than the sun when coming out of the machine) and sinks full of pans bigger than me with unspeakable substances burnt onto them.

The particular 'highlight' of this evious position is clearing out the grease-trap. For those who don't know, it's a machine that siphons off all the crud, grease and other foul material that goes down the plug-holes, and in a commercial kitchen thats a lot believe me. Those unfortunates who are familiar with this metal box of satan will know that the stench from this machine when opened is like nothing you have ever experienced...and i had to scoop out all the solid matter from within the evil soup, then get rid of all the rest of the shite that's in there. And it is impossible to not get it ALL over you...thus resulting in me performing my dubious duty wearing a giant bin bag and smelling like stig o the dump at school on Monday morning. And the bugger had a rather annoying habit of overflowing at apparently random intervals, spilling its foul contents all over the floor - yummy!

...all for the princely sum of £3 an hour. Still, it's better than working at MaccyD's.

I stuck with it and worked my way 'up' to full blown cook and ended up back there most holidays all the way through 6th form and uni, and had a great time, until my tenure was abruptly ended when my nobhead of a line menager blew half my face off one night, but that's a story for another QOTW...

Apologies, as always...
(Wed 22nd Feb 2006, 14:58, More)

» I'm an expert

Pro evo
I used to be an expert at being amazing at pro evolution soccer 3 while in uni, when it seemed like the obvious thing to do with our time.

I probably would be an expert at pro evo 4, but strangely enough I don't seem to have as much time on my hands now I have to perform a bizarre ritual every day called 'WORK' (i think thats how you spell it).

They don't tell you that at uni...bastards

Pop goes my QOTW cherry. *takes a bow and awaits his medal...*
(Mon 27th Jun 2005, 11:27, More)