» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

My best mate Joe
Several years ago, around the year 2000, I was lucky enough buy my own house and move out of my parents gaff into a lovely little 2 bed terrace where I still live now with my two cats Elwood & New Cat (see jelly.b3ta.com/questions/petstories/post81911)

And as soon as the paint was dry and all my stuff was in, I did what every stoner dreams about and started growing my own dope plants. Over the years I had collected quite a few nice plump seeds from the many different types of weed I bought. These were carefully germinated on paper towel in the airing cupboard and then painstakingly transferred into small yoghurt pots with compost and then eventually into larger pots (possibly also yoghurt). After a few weeks I ended up with about 12 totally different plants, all sitting nicely in my lounge window, swaying in the breeze and catching the sun.

Needless to say this was not a complex growing operation.

Anyway, shortly after I moved in, my best friend Joe (not his real name) joined me to occupy the second bedroom. At the start we got along famously, drinking endless small French beers from sainsburys (man, they were cheap), watching Beavis&Butthead and cooking bbqs in the garden. We had also recently discovered Ecstasy and a man who could easily get them so the evenings were spent talking bollocks, hugging eachother, listening to hard house records (yes, it was 2000ish, it was good then!!) and watching more Beavis&Butthead (on a side note here, if you havnt seen their movie, you really should)

Life. Was. Good.

But as im sure many of you will know, being best friends with someone does not always equate to being able to live with them and we started getting on eachothers nerves. I can’t remember the exact details but it was the usual quarrels…milk, washing up, food, tidiness, shampoo, washing powder, mouldy pint glasses in his room etc and we started drifting apart. Joe started hanging around with a different crowd but still living with me.

And so one evening he decided to go out on the town drinking with his crowd, with half a pill in his pocket.

In the early hours I got a call from one of his mates asking if he was with me, I said he wasn’t and tried to find out what had happened.

What transpired was that he had been arrested hanging out of a car window down the high street, shouting abuse at people with a half-full pint glass in his hand. (luckily with someone else driving) The police had stopped and searched him, found the half and Joe being Joe, had got extremely irate with them. Insisting that a half was nothing and they should f8ck off and find some real criminals.

The police, of course, had other ideas about class A drugs and because he had given them so much abuse dragged him back to the copshop for some questioning.

So sitting in the police interview, it comes to the question of where Joe lives.

Is it…

A) My house (where he lives); full of ecstasy, beer bottles, beavis&butthead videos and weed plants.

B) His parents house, a (now) million pound house in the nicest part of surrey with his uber straight conservative parents, sleeping in bed after a nice cup of horlicks who know nothing of Joes recreational drug fondness.

Ive spoken to Joe about this several times and this is why I love him (in a best mate stylee)…he didn’t think twice…it was the parents.

And so after a little more questioning the police jumped in their riot van and rocked on down to one of the nicest parts of surrey and proceeded to wake his parents up and rip Joes old bedroom apart. Literally went to town, like this was the biggest drug bust surrey had ever seen.

Of course they didn’t find anything, it was all at mine and at the end of the day he was let off with a caution. Which popped up nicely on the search when he was applying for a role for a charity and nearly lost him the job.

I was (and still am) working at a company that does a lot of work for the government, I have a high level of security clearance and being caught growing marijuana and possession of ecstasy could have seriously, seriously f8cked that up.

The sh1t he got from his parents must have been something else.

Joe still has his own key to my house and he is often found passed out on my sofa with beavis&butthead still playing in the background and Elwood sleeping on top of him.

So there you go, the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

You can’t really argue with that can you?

My best friend x

Edit: I should probably add that I no longer do silly things like this and neither does Joe. Remember kids drugs are bad...mmmmkay
(Thu 2nd Oct 2008, 22:41, More)

» I'm an expert

Toy grabbing machines in service stations
For some reason I have an amazing ability to win toys out of those machines at service stations; the ones where you move the claw up/down & left/right and then press the button to grab.

The first time I discovered this 'expertise' was on the way upto Chester, where I removed about 8 cuddly toys from a machine, alarm bells rang and lights flashed each time I won a toy and by the time I finished I had quite a crowd watching.

I have since removed a large number of toys from burger king, Thorpe Park, Chessington World of Adventures etc etc

Its a bit like an addiction now

Not really all that interesting but true.

POP! First post
(Mon 27th Jun 2005, 17:16, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Wayne
There was a bloke at school called Chris Kerr, he was an absolute wanker, a real nasty little shit with hair like pubes and hence he got the nickname Wayne (get it...Wayne Kerr)

For most of our IT lessons the class (well me and a few other blokes) would be constantly shouting Waaaaaayyyyyynnnnnneeee.

Even the teacher started calling him Wayne in the end.

He probably went on to be a tax inspector or auditor or something.

QP
(Thu 18th May 2006, 16:19, More)

» Desperate Times

Weed grinder

Non pot smokers may not be familiar with this gadget but as the subject line suggests its a device for grinding up your weed. Chuck a lump in and give it a few twists and then tip into your desired smoking device. Saves a lot of messing around and also makes your weed go further.

Each time you use it very small amounts of weed collect on the inside edges and around the teeth.

I’m not too proud a man to admit, that in times of desperation the small deposits of weed can be carefully scraped out with a knife into tobacco and then smoked.

Addicted - moi??

:hangsheadinshame:
(Fri 16th Nov 2007, 14:41, More)

» Pet Stories

My cat Jake
It sucks loosing a pet, Jake died young a few months ago, Elwood (his bruv) and I miss him loads.

A word of warning for you folks, name your replacement cat quickly. Dont wait until you can think of a cool name.

Because you wont.

So now its just me, Elwood and New Cat

Really.

Jake...more tail than cat

(Tue 12th Jun 2007, 16:14, More)