b3ta.com user PowderedGnomeGirl
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» Sexual fetishes

My German ex-boyfriend used to love being on the receiving end of a little gardening uphill. Didn't do anything for me but I was in love and eager to please so we bought a strap-on complete with an amusingly veiny large black dildo. Trying it on for the first time I had the incredible urge to turkey slap. In an attempt to make myself feel less she-male-esque and tone down my brand new fake penis I put sexy lingerie, suspender belt and stockings.

It's quite a physical feat to peg a large 6ft hairy German when you're petite, 5' 2" and have to jump to get things down from the top shelves in supermarkets. And aiming is hard; I forgave every man who's had trouble getting it in the hole, though it's obviously more difficult when your knob doesn't have any sensation. After several attempts using half a tube of lube and resulting in the repeat violation of his scruttocks, I eventually got it in the chocolate starfish and started gyrating away. I kind of enjoyed having complete control, but him whimpering like a naughty little Fräulein was a big turn off. However he loved it and started asking for it regularly.

I drew the line when he asked if he could wear the stockings and lingerie :(
(Sun 25th Oct 2009, 22:11, More)

» Now, there was no need for that...

Local treatments
While my boyfriend and I were in the Philippines, he managed to step on a black sea urchin (like this one www.thenewzealandsite.com/photo/1981/ ) on the first day. Foreigners get a much harsher and more painful reaction than the locals, and it can balloon up. We were on a tiny island with no hospital or anything, and so the people at the place we were staying proceeded to apply various treatments, squeezing it and rubbing hot calamansi (like a small lime) onto his foot while he was screaming in pain. They then all started uttering one word "urine" and all turned to me to provide it. The things you do for love, hmm..? So.. my dear boyfriend had his aching foot squeezed, burned and got to put it in a pot of my urine. And then, when we finally persuaded them to call a doctor, when she arrived told us there was no need for all that, it wouldn't have helped at all and was horrified.

And then she proceeded to spent two hours digging the spines out of his foot with a needle while he was in excruciating pain, and had to use no less SEVEN local anasthetics, injected deep into his foot.

He couldn't walk for over a week.

Let's just call it an "experience"
(Tue 21st Jun 2005, 11:25, More)