b3ta.com user Fuiru
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Profile for Fuiru:
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Let's see, I'm a Brit, started working in Japan, followed a Canadian bird back to her country of birth, now live in Toronto and trying to become an accountant.

I used to have a blog, but I stopped updating it.

I just got a copy of Photoshop which I'm playing around with at the moment. If I make anything that isn't shit maybe I'll post it on B3ta.

This is me:

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» The Police

Unlucky mate
Until last year I lived in a nice town north of Liverpool called Formby. This leafy suburb had a problem with rowdy youths coming from dodgy parts of Liverpool, drinking in the parks and causing trouble.

The local constabulary were always on the lookout for out of town rogues, and if any kids were walking the streets they'd get stopped by the police and asked a series of questions, to determine if they were local.

This process backfired when a couple of my mates got stopped after going to the off licence late at night. The copper asked my mate James the usual questions. Unfortunately, his - completely true - answers sounded a little too 'made up'.

Copper: Where do you live?
James: Formby.
Copper: And what school do you go to?
James: Formby High.
Copper: Uh huh, and what street do you live on?
James: Er, Formby Street...
Copper: Get in the car.
(Fri 23rd Sep 2005, 7:54, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Scary Neighbours
My next door neighbour used to be a middle-aged woman who was a science teacher at my school. My bedroom window gave me a perfect view of her sunbathing topless in her garden.

Now THAT was scary.
(Sun 28th Aug 2005, 9:21, More)

» Pet Peeves

Loud car music
Why is it that some people think that the whole world wants to listen to the pedestrian R n B shite that they have playing in their car? "I know," they think, "I'll turn the volume up REALLY LOUD and wind all my windows down while I drive really slowly through the town centre. That'll brighten everyone's day! Everyone loves listening to the same tepid syncopated-beat-that-sounded-really-modern-in-2000-shit as me! What a lovely human being I am!"

Fuck you, dick. Just fuck off.
(Fri 2nd May 2008, 19:00, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Page 3 walls
I covered my bedroom walls in all the pictures of page 3 girls, semi-naked bapsmistresses from Loaded and Maxim and London phone box 'this is me, honest' calling cards that I could get my grubby little hands on. It started out as a rebellious "I'll stick whatever the fuck I want on my walls" two fingers to my parents, but ended up as a terrible addiction. It really got to the point where I couldn't avoid bashing out a quick one at bedtime, even if I wanted to. It was as if Claudia Schiffer and Nell MacAndrew were expecting it of me.

My wall of pseudo-porn was taken down the day after seeing my first girlfriend's reaction to it.

Thanks for listening, I really feel like we've made some progress today.
(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 3:18, More)

» Caught!

Last week
The wife was in bed and I was reading about the latest events in the world of professional wrestling. She emerged from the bedroom and I hastily closed down Firefox. Now she's convinced I was looking at porn.

I'm too ashamed to tell her the truth. And I didn't even get to see any boobs.
(Fri 4th Jun 2010, 23:05, More)
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