» I was drunk when I bought this

McDonalds at Home
A few years back I crashed a mate's work do at a Bar in Reading. A few others must have had the same idea as the entire night's credit limit was breached after about an hour. Normally I wouldn't dream of drinking £8 cocktails but if someone else is paying then that's another matter. Well the evening progressed and I still seemed to be getting free drinks and getting steadily more and more wankered. I remember it being about 10pm, and realising that I'd been drinking dodgy cocktails non stop for 4 hours and have a vague recollection of grabbing one girl's arse as I "flirted" with her. It was at about this point when I started to get hungry and had a revelation. McDonald's should come out with a home microwavable range of food. Then you could have McDonalds at home whenever you wanted it. Being pretty drunk I obviously couldn't wait for the McDonalds people to come up with this too and plan the necessary sales campaign etc before releasing this new wonder product range, so I came up with my own version. I should spend all the money on my person at McDonalds and then take it home and simply store it in the fridge. Thereby enabling me to reheat it all week and eat lovely McDonalds food all the time. So I stagger from Squares (the bar) off down Friar Street to McDonalds. Imagine a 6 foot 5, 20 stone block staggering aong the street in dire need of food. I get to McDOnalds and proudly order 20 hamburgers, 20 cheesburgers, 10 1/4 pounders and 3 boxes of 20 nuggets, thinking at the time that this should just about be enough to last me the week. My memory gets hazy beyond this point but I recall stopping off at one of the fruit machine places in town and winning some money and then collapsing onto my train and bing asked if I was okay but quite a number of people. All the time I'm sat holding bags and bags of McDonalds with a smug look on my face as I bask in the glory of being the first person to think of reheating McDonalds food at home. Fast forward to the next morning, following much puking and sleeping by the toilet. I gently walk downstairs to get a little orange juice and maybe some toast to help my stomach. I open the fridge and am faced by a wall of Cheeseburgers, Hamburgers and Nuggets and probably the nastiest smell I've ever had waft up my nose. Managed not to be sick and then staggered bakc off to bed. For some reason I decide to reheat myself some burgers for dinner that night and discovered that McDonalds food is NOT good when reheated the next day. In fact reheating it makes the smell 100 times worse and makes it even more inedible than usual. Still it was a good idea at the time.....
(Tue 14th Jun 2005, 11:02, More)