» Urban Legends

Arse water
I once told my girlfriend while we were at the pool that "all the water in the pool had been up at least one person's arse due to the lower pressure caused in the bowels by bringing the legs up while doing breaststroke". Describing the phenomena as "arse water".

Until she told people at work the next day and got laughed at.

Swimming gets a little tedious sometimes.
(Sun 8th Jan 2006, 15:19, More)

» When were you last really scared?

Once...
I went to the dentist.

That is all.
(Sat 24th Feb 2007, 4:46, More)

» I'm an expert

It's SO on, Time-and-a-Plaice!
turbo mode, check. auto aim and radar off goes without saying (what do you think i am? a girl?!)..

The maximum handicap thing tho, i've never liked (and yes, we used to play that), it just becomes about running for the body armour then.. And it's no fun if everyone's running around with an RC-P90 or a god damn grenade launcher

As you have clearly discovered, it doesn't take long before you learn the layout of each level and can identify where everyone is from a glance, so.. What you need is the following:

* Three equally sad mates
* Two TVs
* A tv aerial splitter
* various bits of assorted wire and adaptors
* some tin foil
* an oven glove
* beer and/or drugs

Place the two TVs facing away from each other, With the TVs on, tin foil over the top half of one, and the bottom half of the other (using the oven glove to avoid a huge static shock), the tin foil should just stick with all the static.

then proceed to wire up the tv aerial splitter, should be relatively easy, tho you'll probably need a pile of different cables and adaptors (you're so on your own here, but probably best do it before the beer/drugs ;))

Then you can play in two teams, blocking off your opponent's screens, with radar off, in license to kill mode (or max handicap if you really like it that much).. this makes for a much more challenging game, even if it does require a huge amount of fucking about to set up..

And i'll still kick your arse.
(Fri 24th Jun 2005, 11:51, More)

» I'm an expert

I am, so very boringly, an expert in..
Fonts. Not those things that look far too much like toilets that they have in churches, but typefaces...

So much so that I've begun amassing photographs and clippings of things that use the textual abomination that is Comic Sans MS in order to one day build a ranting, seething website about how much I hate it. (people actually pay to have their restaurant signs, etc in that font! nnnnnngggg!)

..And Scrubs. The american hospital comedy. I know most of the first two series' off by heart.

It can't be healthy. Why aren't I an expert on tits? or lager? or badgers even? at least that's vaguely interesting..

Ooh.. And also... I'll kick ALL your arses at four-player Goldeneye deathmatch (license to kill mode, with pistols). but I suck at grenades launchers..
(Fri 24th Jun 2005, 2:08, More)