b3ta.com user oodles
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Disillusioned copywriter and doodler, learning to make silly visual puns with pens and Photoshop but mainly likes to lurk.

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» Sacked

Slutty McSlut-Slut
Back in my days as a booze-peddler I'd reached the heady heights of Bar Manager by 19. Fired a 25-year-old barmaid for clearly having her fingers in the till. The following night she orally pleasured the 64-year-old landlord in the gents, got rehired in the new position of 'senior bar manager' and promptly sacked me. I wasn't prepared to employ the same tactics to get my job back. Bitch.
(Fri 24th Feb 2006, 13:49, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

Dominic. Bless his little cottons. Given no option other than grammar school due to his 160+ IQ. Sadly, what he had in cognitive function he lacked in social skills and spent his entire first year walking up to 6th formers that he fancied, one-eyed warrior in hand, fwapping away furiously. Never deterred by threats of beatings whilst at a grammar school with such piss-poor pass rates that they were never going to oust a genius for being a sex-pest this continued for his entire first year. It reached the point that he was actively encouraged by everyone in the playground except, for some reason, the 6th form girls.
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 12:01, More)

» Hidden Treasure

Adult art
At the tender age of 16 I spent my summer working as a labourer for a psychotic carpenter. His somewhat erratic behaviour got him fired and I was left alone to clear up the site with the message from our foreman that I could keep the carpenter's fishing gear. No rods or such seemed apparent but in due course I happened upon a sealed plastic bag that I had seen him take to and from work. On opening said bag I discovered 3 dog-eared adult mags from the mid-70s involving some of the largest muffs I have ever laid my eyes on. Year's later and I'm left with a centrefold of a Debbie Harry look-a-like and the mental picture of a handyman furiously fwapping at the riverbank in the hope of catching a salmon.
(Wed 6th Jul 2005, 12:52, More)

» Posh

Breaching the divide
My Mum's family tree tracks a lineage back to Lady Godiva. My Dad's family are from Grimsby. I slip from Chav to Cholmondley-Warner with ease.
(Thu 15th Sep 2005, 18:16, More)