b3ta.com user Halkyardo
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Profile for Halkyardo:
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19 20 21. Bloke. Failed engineering student. General geek and music nut. Drives an silly car. Lives in Wrong-Time-Land (a.k.a. New Zealand). Unemployed due to 'the economy'. Drinks too much.

I like to talk, so feel free to add stalk me on any of the IM services below

Richard Halkyard's Facebook profile
Me on deviantART

Apparently I look like Jesus Gordon Freeman's skinny hippy brother...

I have been here:

Yes. I'm shit. I know. But I like playing Halo 3 online. b3ta clan anybody?

Well... actually I only started really POSTING during the b3ta fire...

Teh /talk Insomniac Club
However, since I live in sunny New Zealand, I am busy being an insomniac while you are all at work

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Halkyardo's Disorder
Symptoms:flashing eyes, sudden cannibalism, excess mucus, lack of reflection in mirrors
Cure:take two anti-depressants and come back in the morning
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

Borderline:Very High
Avoidant:Very High
Dependent:Very High

-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --

Apparently I'm a nutter...

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Best answers to questions:

» Your Weirdest Teacher

I've had a few weird ones...
My music teacher a while ago - while I lived Sweden, insisted that I was Norwegian (I'm as Kiwi as they come) and spent every lesson regaling us with how she had "communicated with the ghost of Elvis Presley". Amusing, but not exactly any use to any of us.

At the same school I had a history teacher who seemed to exudea a time-distortion field - he did everything so slowly. Apparently he'd been an American hippie who moved to Sweden to avoid being drafted for Vietnam...

My Geography teacher there was also pretty cool - one time the class was asking all sorts of stupid questions, so he just sat at his desk and answered "42" to all of them, because it is the ultimate answer. He is Canadian, and tends to wear shirts with "Canada" emblazoned in big letters whenever Canada and Sweden face each other in an ice hockey match. Makes a lot of friends that way, I'm sure...

This year I've had a few interesting teachers:

Mr. Rowlands, the electronics teacher, who also regularly performs the blowing-up-capacitors trick. He's (very) English and when a French exchange student arrived, he teased him mercilessly - we never knew his name - he was always just "Frenchy". Once a student remarked on how there is no "Failed" mark on our test papers, only "Acheieved" and "Almost achieved". The teacher asked him if he'd like to be called a failure. He said yes, so for the rest of the year, when calling the roll, Mr. Rowlands would call out "Failure!" instead of the poor guy's name.

Mr. Rogers, my physics teacher is hardly older than us, and (if at all possible) less responsible. One time we hooked a bit of wire to a power supply and were using it to melt through things, when he caught is in the act. He said "No, no, no, you don't do it like that" got a bit of pencil lead and hooked that up to the power supply. The desk still bears the scorch marks. Another time one of my mates fell asleep in class, so the teacher drew a cock on his cheek.

My French teacher last year was quite amusing, if only for what he put up with from us. We used to go and sit at different desks every time he turned his back. Once we hoisted a chair up into the ceiling and left it there. Another time we locked someone in a supply cupboard and the teacher didn't notice he was missing until he crawled out at the end of the lesson. By far the best trick was locking people out of the room. It took a while for him to cotton on to what we were doing, and when he did, he'd always turn the lock handle the other way once we'd entered the class. So we stopped locking the door :D.
(Thu 10th Nov 2005, 21:32, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

There's been a few other nutcases at my school...
- The maths teacher (who was absolutely awesome) who got fired this year for getting drunk at the school ball.
- The drama teacher, who, if the lighting crew had been working in his room, would inspect the floor for any food crumbs afterwards.
- My science teacher from year 9, who had one leg and looked (and sounded) just like a pirate. Not only that, but he was the most awesome teacher ever - he told us how he once destroyed his annoying room-mate's stereo with a home-made EMP generator.
- The dance teacher, who is male and about as gay as they come. After a dance production once, he addressed us teches with "Excellent job boys. Be sure to come down to my office sometime to get your rewards"... uurrrgh. He's actually a nice guy though, and we're not nasty enough to make too much fun of him
- Mr. Bourdot, the freaky graphics teacher. Tall, thin, pale, emaciated (rather like gman from Half-Life) and with the worst temper I have ever seen. Once he gave us a full on lecture at the top of his lungs for looking out of the windows while lining up for a different class. He insists that people take their shoes off entering his class, and makes people wash their hands before they enter the graphics computer lab. Funny thing is, if you stay on the right side of him, he's a great bloke. Still a bit scary, but with an excellent sense of humor (rather b3tan, actually) and great to have on your side.

My chem teacher when I was living in Southhampton was pretty cool as well - on the first day, he demonstrated saftety with bunsens by turning a gas tap on and lighting it. The flames went for about a metre.
(Fri 11th Nov 2005, 4:21, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Well they're not as bad as some...
I've had a few... the first was Linka (was that how it was spelled) from Captain Planet - mmm... eastern European chicks. Then there was a girl in year 5 who I had a massive crush on for 6 or so years - we're actually great mates now, but I'm in no way attracted to her... she's got big tits, but isn't exactly the best looking and rather too unhinged for my liking. Turbocharged hormones have hell of a lot to answer for.

Then I started dating a Frenchie... bad, bad, bad idea. She was incredibly attractive and actually seemed to like me. She went back to Franceland to leave me wanking over the memories of that blissful two weeks, came back a year later, went out with me for a night and then dumped me. I'm surprised she didn't steal my kidneys or anything.

I work at an electronics store and apparently all the old women think that I'm rather fine, if what my cow-orkers overhear is true.

Then there's my chemistry teacher of the past 3 years. She's pretty young and looks damn fine. I'm hopeless at chemistry (unless I'm making something explode or catch fire) and me and my mates misbehave spectacularly (to the point of getting the science block evacuated, but that's another story), but she still seems to like me.
(Fri 29th Sep 2006, 12:36, More)

» Essential Items

What I carry around with me
I carry at all times:
-Palm Zire 71 = camera, MP3 player, organiser, photo album (OK, it's crap at the first two, but it works)
-Mobile phone
-Leatherman multitool
-Swiss army knife
-The biggest bundle of keys known to Man
-Unrolled paperclip for resetting my palmtop
(Mon 31st Oct 2005, 5:35, More)

» My first love

Re: My First Love
My 'first love' so to speak is actually one of my really good friends now - we were both about 5 (and this is according to her), she broke my heart one day by saying that she'd marry another of my classemates rather than me.

As far as a first actual love, she was French, she was damn hot and she was only in the country for 2 weeks. We tried long-distance for a while, but she hasn't replied to my letters and e-mails for about 2 months... damn frenchies...
(Fri 21st Oct 2005, 4:40, More)
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