» Worst Nicknames Ever

"what is the length of the average erect penis?"
there was a kid in my year at school called steven hinchley, and to put it simply, he should have been aborted.

in one sex education lesson, we did a quiz to see how much we knew about the subject, and one particular question was "what is the length of the average erect penis?" when the teacher asked around afterwards, he put his hand up and gave the response "4 inches?"

from that moment on he was known as steven four inchley
(Thu 18th May 2006, 20:09, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

oh god
please don;t get me started on myspace kids.. i could talk for hours and hours and hours about THEM!
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 20:10, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

dollydagger! about LCF!
i go there too! that guy with the straw hat looks like such a twat!

and he's in my class!!!
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 19:31, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

2005 was a bad year for the internet
most of the people i've met in the last 5 years have been internet related. most have turned out ok, but a couple have been not quite as i expected.

the one that stands out the most was a guy i met last may who seemed nice enough over msn etc. we met up in london and he was an hour late. then as soon as he walked over, i had this horrible feeling it was gonna be a terrible day.

he was the most immature annoying person i've ever met in my life! he acted like a 5 year old the whole time, and we were on the tubes and he was talking really loudly and asking if i like him and saying really embaressing things. any normal person would've just walked off but i'm too nice.

we went to burger king where he ate with his mouth open. and not just with it open,but regularly showing me what was inside on purpose.

then later on he was telling me about the people in his town and how loads of people said he raped this girl but he swears he didnt do it. then started being all "you dont like me do you? i bet i'm a disapointment!" and me being the way i am, i was all "no you arent!"

then when the day finally finished, he bugged me on msn for about 2 weeks to get me to meet up again and was telling me he loved me until he found some other poor girl to annoy.

oh, and now i've remembered another guy from december. one of my mates was saying he knew a guy he thought i'd get on really well with. so he gave me this guy's msn address and we got talking. he seemed nice enough, although like a bit of a stalker. apparently he frequently visited my myspace page but never sent me a message because he thought i would hate him. and in the first conversation we had, he was telling me how he has various songs and films that remind him of me.. looking back, thats where i should've blocked him. i then found out he was going to the same gig as me the next week so we agreed to meet up inside and chat. he seemed pretty cool in real. not so much of a psycho. then i found out i'd missed my train home and he drove me all the way back which i thought was pretty sweet. then he dropped me at my house and i was like "thanks for dropping me home" and kissed him as like, a thankyou and because up to that point i thought he was a nice guy. then straight after i hear the words..

"so what does this mean? where are we going?"

and i had to sit down and say what i thought of him, if i thought we were gonna go anywhere, what the chances of a relationship happening was, and answering a million questions that i didnt know the answer to! it was horrible!

god knows why i met him again. we went for a meal and to some arcades (he payed for every game i played. that was pretty cool lol) then in the car journey home i had to face similar questions again and had me trying to work my way out of seeing him again and i ended up crying and it was the worst night of my life!

i never saw him again after that..

sorry for the length, but you love it.
(Sat 18th Mar 2006, 10:38, More)

» Dentists

decay
my worst experience with my dentist was the time i went for a check up and she proceeded to stab me in the gum with a very sharp pointy metal instrument and said in a very loud angry voice

"YOU FEEL THAT?! THATS DECAY!"

she has also given me many fillings, made me cry with pain and choke on my own mixture of blood and drool...
(Fri 3rd Nov 2006, 1:16, More)