» * PFFT *

Silent but deadly
I was at Uni back in the day, we were in graphic design on the third floor and the fashion lot were on the second floor, this meant that we were lucky enough to share the lift with the best looking girls in the whole university.

My 'look' at the time was a shaven head and massive headphones, so one fine morning I arrived at the lift doors with my mates and a gaggle of pretty fashion girls, and a rumbling hung over stomach.

Once in the lift my bottom immediately demanded I release it's airy contents — I thought by shifting my cheeks a little I'd be able to slip it out without much ado. I then commenced to fill the lift with a smell only attainable through a life on stella, porridge and beans. By riding it out I thought the blame could be pinned on anyone in the lift so just hummed to myself until we reached the next floor.

When the fashion ladies left they all looked at me in absolute disgust. Confused, I turned, looking at my mates who were laughing heartily through the haze of my guff. As I removed my blaring headphones I was informed that I'd done the loudest fart they'd ever heard.
(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 16:29, More)