» Posh

im so posh...
my derranged grandmother now claims that her mother's family were barons in russia and owned several towns. that worked until the whole "pogrom" thing.

my dad's family owned a handbag/belt company/factory thing in new york for a long time, so that right there is the definition of posh.

my dad also makes about 300,000 quid a year, so that makes me extra posh doesnt it then. or just him. whatever. suppose im still worthless. he's having dinner with former president clinton this thursday.

too bad my last job paid me 970 quid before i was "terminated". fuckers.

im currently fucking a fashion model in fashion week. no joke.

im also so posh i pay someone 25 quid per nut per hour to clean my balls in san pellegrino.**

no appologies for length, length is the new short. that's how posh i am.

**may be wholly untrue.
(Sun 18th Sep 2005, 6:48, More)

» Injured Siblings

sibbling damage
While on vacation several years ago, my brother and i were playing mini-golf. He decided to pretend to be then-famous native-american golfer Notah Begay. He began to swing his club around, only to meet it with my lip. Cue screaming, blood all over the astro-turf, and a fat lip that lasted a week. Still have a scar on my lip from that.
(Wed 24th Aug 2005, 17:20, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

I Knew It Was Over...
Knew it was over as soon as she said...
"I'm a Catholic."

"No spreading before the wedding" my ass.
(Mon 25th Jul 2005, 1:49, More)