» My computer gave away my secrets

Cucumber Relish
A couple of years ago my girlfrined and I went on holiday and I gave my "friend" a key to my flat so he can come in and feed my girlfriend's pets.

My mother kindly picked us up from the airport and drove us back to said flat, having another 20 min drive back to her house I offered he in for a cuppa.

Whilst there I rather unwiseley said "Would you like to see my holiday snaps, they are on the digital camera.
I will get them up on the computer screen so you don't have to squint at the tiny screen on the camera"

As the PC wasn't the fastest in the world I turned it on and went into the kitchen to make the tea.

I returned to the living room to see my mother sat at the PC confronted with the new wallpaper my "friend" had selected whilst I was away.

The wallpaper was a picture of a rather overweight lady eating a cucumber - with her snatch!!
(Thu 16th Feb 2006, 15:36, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Anything ever made by apple
Mac Computers? Why would anyone buy a PC 2 years out of date for £1500 just cause it's white and looks pretty??

And the twunts who spend hundreds of pounds on IPods! Whats all that about? (look at me I can carry 2000 songs around with me). Why the fuck would you want to do that??
(Thu 29th Sep 2005, 16:11, More)

» Crappy Prizes

Viva Las Vegas
Went to visit my Girlfriend's Nan who lives in Las Vegas (my girlfriend was there too, I am not a perv).

She offered to take us out gambling and gave us $100 to spend on the video poker machines.

Was going great, within 5 minutes I was $500 up and looking forward to pissing my winnings up the wall later that night. Only problem was we felt obliged to spend the rest of the day with her in the casino - as GF hadn't seen here for years and all that. Ended up losing the whole monkey plus our entire spending money for the rest of the 2 week holiday. It was only the 3rd day.

Don't gamble kids
(Thu 4th Aug 2005, 18:38, More)