b3ta.com user B3any_pants
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» Phobias

Nothing much
Just really 2 girls and 1 cup. Dunno why, can cope with both seperately but together...
(Thu 10th Apr 2008, 13:49, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

While working at my desk
I say working loosely, because I try not to, a work collegue fell over and spilt coffee all down there front. We all laughed.

Nothing to do with the qotw but I ignored it

(probably been done already)
(Fri 5th May 2006, 13:05, More)

» Dumb things you've done

Warm Stella
Well not exactly warm more boiling hot!

I was working in a pub, and the Stella ran out. So being the one "in charge" for the afternoon, I went to change the barrel. Having removed the empty one, I proceeded to move the full one. Very heavy but movable. Having shaken it up a bit to get it in place, I proceeded to connect it to the system. I plugged the head onto it, but I apparantly didn't get a good fix, because as soon as I tightened the head it exploded all over me. There I was soaked to the skin in wife beater.

So I went upstairs and changed my shirt, but my trousers were still moist, so I spied an iron. So I turned it on and waited. I couldn't be bothered to take my trousers off and ironed away. This turned out to be a bad thing. As the iron touched the wet fabric, it started to steam, who would have guessed that cold wet beer when steaming reached temperatures nearing a sun going super nova.

I had an iron mark on my inner thigh for a couple of weeks.

Interestingly I told everyone in the bar, so being a student studying coastal engineering, I was often asked to show them my groyne. Which I did - often.

Nuff said really.
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 13:42, More)

» Council Cunts

My overgrown bush
It's funny to see this QOTW as I sent this email last Friday.

Dear Sir,

I live at B3any_towers and I would like to discuss the issue of my back passage which runs from my property to another road. I think something should be done about my back passage, it is currently overgrown with bindweed and nettles and access to my property is restricted. We are currently in the process of moving house and so there will be increased activity up and down my back passage. There is a bramble bush at the end of the passage which is somewhat overgrown, and the nettles are becoming uncomfortable, only the other day my wife complained of developing a nasty rash having successfully forced her way up my back passage.

About 4 years ago you sent me a letter informing me that due to health and safety issues the refuse collection team were no longer going to be able to access my back passage to collect my rubbish. I can understand this, as on a cold and icy morning access to my back passage could be considered as dangerous. However, without the constant traffic that my passage once enjoyed the natural obstruction has become worse.

I am not sure who is responsible for the cleanliness of my passage, but as it is not identified in my deeds, I assume that the responsibility for clear access to my passage is with the council.

On a serious note, I do feel that the vegetation at the end of my passage does pose a safety issue to members of the public, as it can offer a hiding place for undesirables to hide, or carry out other indecent acts. In the past I have found beer cans and drugs paraphernalia at the entrance to my passage.

If the council agrees to clear the growth at the end of my back passage, I would be more than happy to ensure that the rest of my passage is clear.

I hope this email has amused, but there is a serious issue with the overgrown bushes at the end of my passage.

Yours sincerely

I got the response yesterday informing my that the footway is not their responsibility or that of the County Council, so I will have to do it myself

(Fri 27th Jul 2007, 9:38, More)

» Barred

Barred from a nightclub in Liverpool
Turned up to some club in Liverpool when I was a student. I was attacked by a local and broke his nose on my forehead when he tried to nut me, because I wouldn't let him rummage through my pockets - honestly. The bouncer threw me out, saying it was for my own protection!
Laughed my socks off (almost) when I saw on NorthWest tonight the next day that there had been a drive by shooting, just after I had left.
Ah the North, what a lovely district of this merry Isle.
(Mon 4th Sep 2006, 12:23, More)
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