» My computer gave away my secrets

at last
on my part, a question worth answering.

I was fifteen and looking for porn on the internet. I found an erotic story, a five page tract of lesbian-based filth. Clicking on 'print', the ageing Epson creaked into life and started reeling off the first page. Whereupon there occured a paper jam. In a panic I tried to stop the printing, but to no avail. The paper was all mash up. Frustrated and fearing detection, I turned the whole lot off, pulled the chewed up paper out of the printer and went off to bed empty handed.

The next day I went to school and all was normal. After school, my mother took my sister and I to the hospital, where our grandmother was convalescing after an operation. The mood around the bed was quite sombre, as we weren't sure whether the operation had been successful or not. After pleasantries were done, my mother started ratching in her bag.

"Something odd happened today. I was trying to print out a fax on, and the printer started producing this... this... stuff!"

I looked on aghast.

Obviously, the printer had stored the dirty information and had printed it out at the next opportunity. But my mother was under the impression that a client of hers was trying to provoke her by faxing her this stuff, and had phoned him to put him right. He was innocent, and my mother looked a fool. The situation was by now excruciating for me, and my red face and obvious panic made my guilt all too apparent. Whereupon the others, followed by half the ward, started laughing at me. Harrowing.

Being caught out is bad enough, and it's happened many times since. But during a visit to what could have been my grandmother's deathbed? Worse.
(Sat 11th Feb 2006, 18:14, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

druqgs
The first time I took enough mushrooms to actually trip, I found myself lying prone on the floor listening to my own, disjointed thoughts, and coming to the conclusion that I had discovered the meaning of life... the room had melted, cars outside sounded like spaceships zooming past. I later spent a good while (I cannot tell how long as time was going backwards) musing on how on Earth salt and pepper shakers worked. I also saw cows where there were none and watched a game of football on my schoolbag-screen.
(Mon 19th Dec 2005, 16:48, More)

» Fire!

fiyah
Bored in a tiny Cumbrian village, I would occasionally commit fire to the countryside by taping an aerosol can around the nozzle, so as to elicit a constant jet of gas which I would then set alight. Flames would engulf the can which I would then shoot with an air rifle, causing a decent-sized shrapnelly explosion - the holy grail!
(Fri 4th Nov 2005, 1:22, More)