b3ta.com user unciebana
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Best answers to questions:

» Awesome Sickies

"i can't [cough cough] come into work today [cough] i'm ill"

"whats wrong, sore throat?"

"no, actually i'm [cough] claiming to have a headache but i don't [cough cough] know how to make it sound like that over the phone"

oh and i once forgot to go into work one week. didnt have anything to do, just sat about completely oblivious to the fact that i should be going out and earning money for survival. can't remember what reminded me to go back.
(Sun 11th Jun 2006, 22:13, More)

» Urban Legends

mars bar
i believed this up until today, when i trumpeted it at work, only to be shot down in flames.
Murray Walker invented the slogan "a mars a day helps you work rest and play"
complete bollocks apparently.
mind you, i did also believe that an air guitar was an actual kind of guitar till i was about oooh 20.
(Thu 5th Jan 2006, 23:59, More)

» Crappy Prizes

snow queen
when i was at primary school, there was a competition to design a crown that could be used for the snow queen. despite being utterly unartistic i somehow managed to win, against kids from schools all over scotland.
so big day comes and im being presented with my prize up on stage before a showing of the play, the snow queen. cant remember what 3rd place guy got but 2nd place guy got a smart drawing/pencil set just the thing to keep youngsters amused for hours. thinking that 1st place prize must be waaaaayy better than that im quite excited when my turn comes. and the guy gives me ..... a book of stamps. commerorative snow queen stamps, as if that made it any better. so i started crying on stage in front of hundreds of people. great, a crap prize and total humiliation in front of loads of strangers.
i have also won typewriters on three seperate occasions.
(Wed 10th Aug 2005, 21:37, More)

» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

The Rock.
I believed that air guitars were just a special kind of guitar rock bands would use. Until I was like 19.
(Wed 18th Jan 2012, 16:05, More)

» Overheard secrets

about a year ago
I had been round at my dads watching the football and was walking past three neds, maybe about 18 or so, on my way home. Two of them were just milling about and one of them was talking on his phone. This is what he said "...aye, i can feel it running down my leg. I've no even looked yet..."
First of all, what the hell has he done? Pissed himself? Shat himself? Why isn't he looking at his leg to see whats happening?
But secondly, and more importantly, why has he phoned someone up to tell them about it?
I really wish i had heard the rest of the conversation.
(Fri 26th Aug 2011, 17:45, More)
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