» School fights

Boy Band Battle
I'm too much of a wimp to get into fights myself. However, I do vividly remember the day that two of my friends had a fight during break time (just before Biology in case you're interested) - lots of pulling of hair, scratching of faces, gnashing of teeth and kicking of shins. The reason for the fight? They were arguing over the relative musical and aesthetic merits of Take That and East 17. If I remember correctly the East 17 representative won.
My friends were so cool.
(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 11:50, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

I haven't paid for sex...
... but I have inadvertantly announced myself to be a lady of the night before now.

Almost missed the bus a few months ago as I stopped to pick up 20p I saw lying on the ground (I have no shame, OK?). When discussing this act of peasantry with friends that night, I uttered the immortal line "I wouldn't go down for less than 20p".

Never been allowed to forget that one.
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 16:17, More)

» Encounters with Royalty

Dressing for the occasion
A long time ago, when I were but a lickle nipper, I went on holiday to Norfolk with my family. We woke up one morning to glorious sunshine and decided to take a trip to the beach. As you do.

It turned out that the very beach we were visiting had recently built itself a brand spanking new lifeboat station, or bought itself a brand spanking new lifeboat or something along those lines. Whatever it was though, the Duchess of Kent was on hand to open it, so we stood around with the masses waiting to catch a glimpse of (semi) royalty. As you do.

I'll always remember the excitement I felt as my young, innocent eyes fell upon a Proper Famous Royal Person and we watched her walk down the beach chatting to the crowds and making her way towards us. And the sheer embarrassment and shame I felt when she clapped eyes on my dad, wearing nothing but a pair of Adidas Bethlehem sandals and some snazzy, tight, small, green and blue speedos and commented that he had "really dressed for the occasion".

And that was my first and last encounter with royalty.
(Tue 8th Aug 2006, 13:45, More)

» Misunderstood

Sunday Warship
OK, so it wasn't me, it was my cousin. And he wasn't misundertsood, he was doing the misunderstanding, but hey ho.

Many, many moons ago, my cousin jumped from his bed early Sunday morning so he could run downstairs and get to the tv before the programme about the warships started. Convinced it would contain great big ships, exciting battles and other things little children enjoy to watch, he got comfortable and turned on the television. Imagine his disappointment when Sunday Warship turned out to be Sunday Worship and he was confronted with old folk singing hymns.
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 10:04, More)

» Fancy Dress

Never leave your costume til the last minute.
At the tender age of 8, it didn't occur to me to tell my mum that the party I was going to was fancy dress until a couple of hours before I was due to arrive. Panicking and angry, she dressed me up in a wooly jumper, wooly hat, scarf and gloves and stuck a home made sign around my neck saying 'COLD'.

That's right, I turned up to the fancy dress party as a cold person.
(Tue 17th Jan 2006, 11:39, More)