b3ta.com user lincolnsmithvstheblackprince
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» Misunderstood

what a day
mad story this...when i was alot younger, I met this girl, lovely she was a little bit underage but no-one minded, went to a party and then realised that her family were from a 'rival' estate and had got involved in a bit of a ruck awhile back, anyhoo I wasn't allowed to get involved with her and her dad said if he saw me well let's just say it's red and hot and poker shaped, anyway I though fruck this we'll get it on, woohoo, problem is her meathead chavtastic cousin and my best mate have an almightly barney and he pulls out a knife, my mate ends up in casualty...what a twat? pulling out a knife like that, i thinks I'm not having that so I shank him with me swiss army, his head hits the ground, shaking like an eppy he ends up in casualty and muggins is up for gbh...don't worry it's nearly over, my mate reckons I should lay well low or else i could get an asbo or something, so i go and visit my real dad,(who's a bit of a dealer) problem number 2 is well that bird is well fit and i want to see her again, so i ask my mate to tell my bird that i'm at my dads and she can come and visit, anyway i pop out to cash my giro and bird comes over and my dad gives her a hit of scag to smoothe her mind, she has a couple of beers and she's well out of it...COMA-TOSED!!!,the funny thing is I didn't know this see? anyway I get back, dad is out, and I think that the stupid bitch has o'd, anyway I can laugh now but I shat meself thought I'm up for GBH and now maybe murder so I did meself in, stupid I know but wtf? Anyway, little did I know that it weren't scag just a bit of skunk and bird wakes up and sees me covered in claret...silly cow takes my knife and does herself in as well...what a misunderstanding eh readers!!!
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 13:16, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

I want this on a T-shirt
This is just off Kingsland Road, Dalston

Cliche Guevara
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 16:39, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Turkey Inseminator
We sometimes use our own for our 'science project'.
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 10:38, More)

» Heckles

you unfunny miserable snot encrusted crunt junkie
Yeah, I was at Reading and I threw a bottle of piss cause yeah they were shit but I did it from a crowd and that was re...


just to let you know I was working the security that weekend to earn some money because my little girl is dying from cancer and I wanted to give her one last dying wish, just to go to disneyland, one of those bottles hit me and I had to go to hospital. I never got paid. She died. A painful. painful. death.
(Wed 12th Apr 2006, 11:59, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

a long time ago, not me but a mate
err a long time ago it wasn't me but a mate of mine, I wouldn't personally , paid for it? I'm married and still paying, what's that? you sick bastards, women need respect, i travel to my boyfriend, it costs money so I suppose, lollipops, arses, made her bleed, not me mind, there was some kind of connection, they all hate us anyway....*wakes up with a jolt* expects to see patrick ewing in a shower but no the week is not ovah....
(Wed 25th Jan 2006, 12:10, More)
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