b3ta.com user Monsieur Monster
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» Where is the strangest place you have slept?

Weirdest night...
As a sprightly teenager I went to a house party in the middle of nowhere with 3 friends. We shall call them friend A, B and C. We got picked up in Friend C’s crappy 80's Ford Fiesta and trundled our merry way to said party stacked with 4x cans super Tennants each, tents, 'herbal' cigarettes, and a couple of guitars. Whilst hurtling down the road at a 50 miles and hour a deer decided it was going to end it’s life and choose the crappy Fiesta as its destiny. The car was a write off. The bonnet was completely caved in. The damage was so bad that the left light was pointing somewhere over to the right and the right was pointing somewhere over to the left, there was little illumination to front of us. But did it stop us? Hell no. We carried on since the deer bounced off into a field. We carried on for quite a while before the car finally gave up and overheated. So we decided to have a bit of ‘inspiration’, abandon the car and walked off with tents and guitars with a vague idea of where the party was. Friend A had picked up the obligatory flashing roadworks light and fashioned a strap to attach it to his head. We had at this point started to drink the filth of the super tenants. We started a merry sing along whilst walking through woods, hoping it might take us to somewhere we would know. By sheer fluke it ended up taking us directly in to the back garden where said party was in full swing! People had heard the us singing and saw the flashing light on Friend A’s head amongst the trees. Best entrance to a party ever... The father who owned the house is quite a bigwig in the music Industry and likes a party so was amongst the 50 odd spotty teenagers drinking and recanting stories of exploits etc. Legend! We polished off the remaining cans of pure filth and set up camp in the back garden. I ended up staggering around off my face whilst a Friend B was in a tent losing his virginity to Friend A’s ex girlfriend. Friend A kept on ‘accidentally’ falling over the tent they were in… I at this point was in another part of the garden expelling the super Tennants back up. I then passed out in this part of the garden for a few hours then wondered inside to see if there was anywhere to crash for the night. The floor was littered with drunken bodies all snuggled up in sleeping bags including mine. Bastard… But I found my soft guitar case and drunkenly reasoned that it was like a sleeping bag and put me head down on the only available floor space I could find, which was the bottom step of the stairs, with one leg in a guitar case.

What an awesome night…

*obligatory penis reference*
(Tue 2nd Jan 2007, 8:25, More)

» Asking people out

Fancied a girl for ages...
Hadnt seen her for a while, bumped into her on Saturday night and we kissed... Awesome.
Hangover Sunday, texted her Yesterday, she's kinda seeing someone else.
Gutted. =(
(Wed 16th Dec 2009, 22:58, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

At Reading festival
in the olden days when they had a cinema tent, they used to show 'art house' films of absolute toss between the the maine presentations.
They must have thought a bunch of pissed up stoners would be the only people that would sit through that shite.
How wrong they were...
(Wed 5th Oct 2005, 16:55, More)