» Obscure Memorabilia

PYTHON
I've always been a python fan, but when i was nine or ten i was absolutely rabid, and could recite every word of almost every sketch.

At about this age we went for a long holiday stay with my uncle in surrey one summer. I befriended a boy from the village of the same age as me, whose father was one of the location unit directors in Monty Python and the holy grail. When he found out what a python nerd i was, he gave me a keepsake which he took from the set, which i have to this day. It is the brush with which Brian was made to write 'Romani Ite Domum' a hundred timed on the side of the Palace.
(Wed 10th Nov 2004, 21:57, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Ashamed as I am to admit it...
I have two lingering secret crushes, both wrong in their own way...

(1) Beverly Callard
(2) The Cadbury's Caramel Bunny

Logically, therefore, my dream woman would be a forty benson-a-day smoking lycra clad GILF cartoon rabbit with a west country accent. I'm ashamed to say i've got a semi just thinking about her.
(Sat 30th Sep 2006, 12:32, More)

» People with Stupid Names

I used to work for the NEAB examination board in Manchester
doing the tedious job of checking that the examiners marks had been added up correctly in thousands upon thousands of GCSE exam papers.

To relieve the (considerable) tedium of the job, myself and my colleagues (consisting of an A-list dossing team of Summer-job students, stoners and agency monkeys) collected the stupidest names of candidates, and wrote them on the toilet wall, along with their candidate and exam centre numbers for verification purposes. I enclose the winning five, preserved in a diary entry from june 2 1995:

5: Hwlong Dong
4: Albert Hall
3: Lee Ho-Fuk
2: Neil Spacker
1: Salik Chundergrunt

There were countless more, lost to history thanks to poor short term memory retention. Now where did i put those Rizlas. . .
(Sat 28th Aug 2004, 12:39, More)