b3ta.com user aretha
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» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Smoking Kills
I am very badly asthmatic. And I smoke. Bad, I know, but there we are.

After a particularly heavy e/speed session I was at a house party kicking back and enjoying a bit of weed - taking the edge off - and chatting with friends.

It was my go on t' spliffage but the bugger kept going out. I persisted in my own little world for about 10 minutes, wasting about half a lighter in the process, when my darling friend turned and asked me what was the matter with my face.

Bearing in mind the amount of stuff I had done I considered this a rather unnecessary question, and said as much, but it turned out I had smoked about three quarters of a kohl pencil and missed my mouth so many times I had drawn a moustache/beardy stubble type mess around my mouth. Like a child playing pirates.

Those were the days.......
(Fri 16th Dec 2005, 13:28, More)

» Cross Dressing

I wasn't cross-dressing
I am rather petite male and went through a speed-induced Goth/gay faze in my teens. My hair was long and black, I had a full length black suede coat complete with fur collar. Flares. Platforms. I'm also naturally fair, so I had to tart myself up every morning so I didn't look like some odd gollum-type thing with no facial hair. With hindsight I was asking for trouble, really.

Anyroad, one summers afternoon after a rather hectic 48 hours of partying - read no sleep - I was walking through the town centre of a city in the South West when I somehow upset a vagrant by not getting out of his way when our paths crossed. He was undoubtedly in a great hurry to haul his shitty self into a Spar to buy some Special Brew.

I'm British, so I apologise.

He responds by calling me a vacuous hussy.

Hussy I took offense to. Getting home an hour later and finding out what vacuous meant in the dictionary made me livid.

I can't bear a verbose tramp on a comedown.
(Fri 16th Mar 2007, 15:43, More)

» Urban Legends

Chris Packham
From the Really Wild Show.

I was about 21 at the time. I got told he had nerve endings in his hair, and every time he had a haircut he had to have local anesthetic injected into his scalp.

I wondered how it must have felt when he dyed it.

Damn my gullibilty and my boyfriend.....
(Fri 6th Jan 2006, 16:30, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

Met Stephen Sondheim, arguably the greatest living composer of musical theatre and definitely the greatest lyricist in that genre ever.

Our conversation was thus.

Me - Thank you.

Him - No, thank you.

Me - No, thank you.

Him - No, thank you.

Then he walked off.

Not so fucking wordy in the flesh, then.....
(Tue 30th May 2006, 11:33, More)

» Essential Items

In my pocket
(Wed 2nd Nov 2005, 17:50, More)
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