» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

I once met this guy
And he was in town for a couple of days before going into the army. Some friends and myself were in the park dancing as you do, and there were these people on horses. Now, we love horses, best of all animals, so we asked if we could have a go. The snobby bitches said no so we decided to rent a horse instead.

At some time or another, the horse ran away! We ran after it and that guy immediatly jumped on the horse as it rode by and did all sorts of groovy tricks. So we sang a song and had a little dance about a 16 year old virgin.

After the whole horse thing we did drugs and sang some more. Next morning, the snobby horse girl was in the paper, apparently it was her birthday or whatever. We went to check it out and fitted in just nicely. Then some old fuck told us to piss off, which we didn't, and we ended up in jail.

Long story short, he went into the army, we went for a surprise visit. We traded places, he got to hang around with the gang for a day while I would play soldier. Turns out the soldiers were leaving for Vietnam that day! Not a very wonderful surprise, what with getting killed and all that.

Oh wait, that was Hair..
(Thu 23rd Mar 2006, 18:53, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Old biology teacher
One day we were talking about the Ozzy Osbourne show. He said that Ozzy was a pathetic old wanker who can't sing for shit. We asked him what kind of music he liked.

His reply? Black Sabbath.
(Thu 10th Nov 2005, 17:22, More)

» Best Films Ever

Withnail & I
This film proves that you don't need tits, fast cars and explosions to make a good film. Not even a brilliant plot is needed. No, all you need is the some of the best dialogue ever and actors (or should I say 'thespians'?) who can pull it off.

Bruce Robinson, writer and director, I salute you.
(Thu 17th Jul 2008, 18:34, More)

» Spoooky Coincidence

Bike
Just a couple of weeks ago I dreamt I had a flat tyre. Alright, strange dream, nothing else. I get on my bike the next morning and notice it's tyre has gone flat. I find this slightly odd, but I just get the spare bike and cycle to the trainstation.

Later that day I'm all ready for the journey back home, I get on my bike and.. that tyre's flat as well. Strange days indeed..
(Thu 8th Feb 2007, 14:35, More)

» On the stage

When I was a wee lass at the age of 5
I used to be in this little ballet class though the description dancing like a mong to shit music would be more appropriate.

Each year, everybody would be in this play. The theme was Princess and Knight. On stage, I got into a fight with a boy who I had to hold hands with for the dance. I'm not sure what happened, but I slapped him, he kicked me, we screamed at each other and the whole crowd was laughing their asses off.

I used to have it on video, but I lost it..
(Sat 3rd Dec 2005, 15:27, More)