b3ta.com user Stonkwood
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» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

Royal Engineers
a good friend of mine was an engineer sent to the Faulklands. Now forgive me not being able to recall the names of ships, but his broke downs, so he arrived after all the action was all over, so all there was for him and his boys to do was tidy up.
Alas all of their mine clearing gear had been sunk in the action, but they still had to get the mines cleared pronto, so with classic improvisation they would fence off a suspect area and heard in sheep, of which there were a plentyful supply, with spectacular results.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 14:01, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

Wierd Alan
would you believe that this was at university when surely 13 years of bullying should have weeded out this sort of thing.

University halls had a communal IT suite. one night, alan got his cock out while looking at pron. this being in a crouded room.

Boy next to him: "Put it away Alan"
Alan: "Ok" alan keeps it out

Grils on row behind: "Alan! Put it Away!"
Alan: "ok" Alan keeps it out
Girls call campus security

Security Guard: "Alan mate, put it away"
Alan: "ok" cock stay out
Security Guard: "I don't have the training to deal with this, I'm going to have to call the police"
Alan: "ok"

Police Officer: "Sir, Put it away"
Alan: "ok"
Police: "sir, I'm going to have to arrest you"
Alan: "ok"

they did infact take alan away.

EDIT: after all this, he didn't get to squirt
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 11:51, More)

» Housemates

The German Sense of Humour
Bjorn and Matthias... Shared a room in my student house. On the first night out they regaled us with the funny story about how when exploring their new room as Matthias opened their cupboard for the first time it fell on him.

On our final farewell night out at the end of the year, they were still telling that story, still with tears of laughter rolling down their cheeks as they got to the end.

It had worn a bit thin for the rest of us by then.
(Fri 27th Feb 2009, 15:48, More)

» School fights

in iran they have the morality police, at my school we had my best mate's little brother
he was always getting in trouble, but always in a "good" cause. on his very first day at school another kid was about to stamp on a caterpillar in the playground so chris pushed him over and stamped on him... he got sent home with a note.
all through his childhood chris was to be found standing outside the headmaster's office all because he had stood up for the little guy. as a result he always seemed to have an inner fire of one who has been the victim of an injustice.
I understand now he's fighting fires in the australian outback, in retrospect he was always desitined to be a hero.
(Sun 12th Mar 2006, 1:13, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

internet dating
One Fat. Hugely fat. Only showed me face shots, should have guessed but I was young and naieve. Got of the train, got straight back on the train, I mean fucking hell, she could have told me she was huge.
After that, careful to only meet people who provided plenty of photos, shallow I know.
Next one was pretty but after tenderly doing her once she turned utterly psycho. told me she loved me, told me she hated me, told me she was pregnant, told me I'd raped her... utter madness.
Try asking a girl for a full psycological profile before meeting and see how it goes down! I'm sticking with meeting girls in the pub from now on.
(Fri 17th Mar 2006, 10:40, More)
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