b3ta.com user Long time lurker
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» Too much information

Once worked with this guy we thought was gay
He had never official come out though. Everytime the conversation had headed that way he laughed it off and changed subject. We were all staying in a hotel in Manchester, he had vanished for the night and the rest of us spent the night drinking and playing on playstation. Next morning he missed breakfast and we were all sitting in the car waiting to go and no sign of him, someone called him and he said he was on the way, jokingly the person that called him said he sounded out of breath and was probably on the job. 5 minutes later he came running out and got in the car, we had moved about 10 feet when he said in an awkward voice stop. We asked him what was up and he said

"Sorry guys got to go change my pants, my arse is dripping cum and its rather unpleasent"

Not the way I would imagine most people coming out of the closet
(Wed 12th Sep 2007, 12:54, More)

» Voyeurism

Not somtehing I saw
But heard this while getting some cash out of the ATM at Asda today

Young girl about 18 or 19 (though you never know these days) very fit but very chavy as well was talking to her mate on a mobile.

"I am fuck all out of money to the end of the month. I went to see my step dad to borrow some off him but the wanker wanted a blowjob for it, last time I did that he only gave me 20 quid so I let him touch me up while he jerked off"
(Fri 12th Oct 2007, 13:49, More)

» Dumb things you've done

I was about 6 at the time
My Gran left me in the car all by myself. Always wondered how the cigarette lighter worked so pushed it in and waited, couple seconds later it popped and was all ready. I pulled the lighter bit out and it was glowing red, "wonder if its hot" I thought to myself while putting my finger on it. The answer was yes.

It wasnt a gentle tap either, it was a full on lets push this hard. I now have a very strange fingerprint on that finger
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 15:55, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

Morse code
Once worked on a help desk for a large nameless company. Every now and then we had to send out messages to everyone in the company telling them about problems, this was sent from a [email protected] email address, for my own private email address that was only used to email people I knew a wide range of offensive signatures was used. As this was getting a bit dodgy due to people looking over receivers shoulders instead of using a solid line to seperate email from signature used a bit of morse code that read

"Fuck I hate working for this shit company"

And yes when I had to send out an email to everyone in the company I forgot to change the signature to take it out (rememberd to change the name though). The first person to notice it was the IT director who wasnt impressed and said if there was any complaints I would be sacked, there was a few but they all went to the [email protected] email address which I managed to delete before he saw
(Thu 9th Aug 2007, 16:09, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Its not just magazines
Newspapers also keep hold of the decent prizes and give out to staff/ebay

Whats even worse at one East London newspaper there is one guy who just rings up companys to blag free stuff for competitions by saying they are running a feature on whatever it is he is trying to blag. Once said item has been blagged he then makes up a feature by nicking stuff on the web and comes up with a phoney competition. So not only is he getting free stuff that should be going as prizes he is also getting paid to get the free stuff.
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 14:50, More)
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