b3ta.com user Capt. Tastic
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Profile for Capt. Tastic:
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Not wanked since

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Guilty Pleasures

I can...
urinate on demand by licking my palm and rotating my "glans" on the wet spot.

Not sure how I found this out, but comes in handy if you need to give a sample and cant.

It also feels, er nice?

Sorry, but this sounded better in my head.

(Wed 13th Apr 2005, 17:24, More)

» Strict Parents

My dad...
wouldn't let me eat any food outside.

Mighty high brow for a council house alcoholic.

Yes - bitter.
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 13:45, More)

» Awesome Sickies

Spawny get always gets away with it...
Lad at work who we shall call RatBoy - He is chav incarnate.

Excuses have included:-

*Needs to look after his cat

*MOT (About 4 MOT's a year - he's very safe)

*Irritable Bowel Syndrome - lasted 24 hours, (it's a miracle, praise the lord)

*Taking mon and tues off in lieu of his weekend in which he was 'ill' - seriously, there are no words.


*Taking mon and tues off in lieu coz his wife worked the weekend(!)

Cocking annoying thing is the twat gets away with it repeatedly.
(Fri 9th Jun 2006, 10:20, More)

» Where is the strangest place you have slept?

The Griffin Pub
just of Trafalgar Square, London.

Drunk, as is my want - went to toilet - chose wrong one, and then too scared to come out of the ladies one as there were people coming in and out all the time and didn't want to be beat up by bouncer for being a lady fiddler - got bored, fell asleep, woke up 3 hours later sans friends who had also got bored and fucked off.

Length? They couldn't see - the door was locked..
(Fri 29th Dec 2006, 10:06, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

Pickupa pickupa Pony
When I was about 9 my mates and I found a £50 note in a car park.

Being sensible we spent the whole lot on sweets and toys - much to my mums disgust and she proceeded to clout the shite out of me.

Never even occured that a jobless, single mum would need £50 (this was 1983 so it was a SHIT load of cash)
(Fri 15th Sep 2006, 12:58, More)
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