b3ta.com user HorusUK
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Can't decide whether I'm mental or stoopid. I know I like it in here, though!

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» Losing Your Virginity

Should I be ashamed?
I think not. However, you decide.

I am the proud loser of my virginity to my brothers then girlfriend at the tender age of 16 (prior to this, the odd grope was the best I'd achieved). She plied me with alcohol (Merrydown cider) and proceeded to take advantage of me. The killer moment for me was when she exclaimed, mid-coitus, "You're a virgin, aren't you!". To this day I am unsure if my brother knows, and I'm a little afraid to ask!

Jeanette, if you're reading this (i doubt it somehow) you know who you are ;)
(Sun 6th Mar 2005, 4:15, More)

» Claims to Fame

I've met Sue King (ex Westward TV presenter) and Don Estelle (vertically challenged actor from "It ain't 'alf hot Mum") in the late 70's so back then they where famous!

Met loads of vacuous Z-list types whilst working at a nightclub. Most of 'em where as wanky and self obsessed as you'd expect a z-list celeb to be.

VJ'd with the likes of Lab-4, Eat Static and Mr Keith Flint out of Prodigy. All really nice blokes!
(Tue 1st Mar 2005, 14:07, More)

» Scars with history

Battered and bruised
I've got a scar that goes from just below the pad of my thumb in the kink of my wrist to the centre of the palm on my left hand and several in my scalp which where caused by a glass door that went through me. The fact that I was working in a hotel kitchen at the time and was running away from a chef who was armed with an industrial-sized tin of blackcurrant and apple pie filling had something to do with it. At the same hotel and in the same Summer season I also managed to brush a broken bottle into my right foot and got a one inch "trophy" for that!

On my right hand, running down the pad of my thumb I have a two and a half inch scar. This was caused by a plate of quarter-inch brass I was routing out at the time. I went to leave the machine to get a cuppa, snagged my hand on said brass plate and ripped a trench in the pad of my thumb...

On each side of my chest I have three inch long scars from two lung ops to correct multiple episodes of tension pneumothorax (your lung collapses because air gets into the chest cavity through a hole in your lung, pressure builds up and soon breathing gets a little difficult). I had the option to go for a single operation that would have split my sternum and given me a scar from throat to belly-button. Would have been a bit more impressive than six one inch-long scars!

I also have two scars in my lower lip which where made by my upper front two teeth. It was my first night in the top bunk after pestering Mum for ages to let me sleep there instead of my brother. I woke to go for a wee in the small hours and forgetting I was in the top bunk I fell on to the arm of a conveniently placed chair which made my front teeth cut through my lip and broke the teeth off in the gum. Unbelievably (or stupidly. You decide!) I went back to bed and the following morning, managed to shock my Mum by waking her with a cup of tea and a mouth that looked like it had done 10 rounds with Frank Bruno.
(Sun 6th Feb 2005, 17:10, More)