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» Fire!
Surely this is top of the league?!
I am the master of mass destruction... on two separate occasions of hell-fire, I am a true paramaniac, the rest of the time just a bog standard maniac...
1) Was about 5 years old and little helpful old me decides that on a cold, wet, windy morning that I shall single handedly warm the house... I collect various lighters/matches/fire lighters etc etc... Yee haa I think to myself as I cunningly plot and plan to warm the vast expanse of house (9 bedrooms, not a small challenge for someone of my size and intellect)... Here goes, this is no ordinary fire.... it's heeeowge.... I start the burning, aided by some turps or similar... damp logs, damn it, but I don't give in, with enough fire lighters and copious quantities of newspaper and boring books I achieve my quest to warm... unfortnuatly, even though the flames were high blah blah blah the smoke was an added bonus, the damp logs were angry, soon the whole house was filled with smoke and the adults choked their way down the stairs, there's no catchy punch line to this storey, lets face it...I'm boring!
2) Fires outside the house can too be fun.... off I trot, hmmmmmm wow, sticks... what are sticks good for?... burning of course... where better to make a small child like fire than under the shelter of this green thing in the garden.... beautiful little fire... then to my utter astonishment "Mummy" comes screaming like a bannchie from la maison... "what the hell are you doing you little shit" or words to that effect came spitting from her devil lips... "run away from the fire NOW", yeah whatever, oh ok, spot the deliberate mistake... my green shelter was the oil tank, yes, whoops, bang bang etc etc. My mother was furoius as this was the one and only supply to her beloved Aga, no nice turkey on Christmas day for me then... I however think that it's rude to blame a sweet little child with long blonde hair and big green eyes for such innocent activities... parents that smoke should not leave, under any circumstances, forms of parafinalia around the house to "lure" and "tempt" with, it's not big and it's certainly not clever!
I'm still in trouble!.................. HELP!!
(Mon 7th Nov 2005, 10:50, More)
Surely this is top of the league?!
I am the master of mass destruction... on two separate occasions of hell-fire, I am a true paramaniac, the rest of the time just a bog standard maniac...
1) Was about 5 years old and little helpful old me decides that on a cold, wet, windy morning that I shall single handedly warm the house... I collect various lighters/matches/fire lighters etc etc... Yee haa I think to myself as I cunningly plot and plan to warm the vast expanse of house (9 bedrooms, not a small challenge for someone of my size and intellect)... Here goes, this is no ordinary fire.... it's heeeowge.... I start the burning, aided by some turps or similar... damp logs, damn it, but I don't give in, with enough fire lighters and copious quantities of newspaper and boring books I achieve my quest to warm... unfortnuatly, even though the flames were high blah blah blah the smoke was an added bonus, the damp logs were angry, soon the whole house was filled with smoke and the adults choked their way down the stairs, there's no catchy punch line to this storey, lets face it...I'm boring!
2) Fires outside the house can too be fun.... off I trot, hmmmmmm wow, sticks... what are sticks good for?... burning of course... where better to make a small child like fire than under the shelter of this green thing in the garden.... beautiful little fire... then to my utter astonishment "Mummy" comes screaming like a bannchie from la maison... "what the hell are you doing you little shit" or words to that effect came spitting from her devil lips... "run away from the fire NOW", yeah whatever, oh ok, spot the deliberate mistake... my green shelter was the oil tank, yes, whoops, bang bang etc etc. My mother was furoius as this was the one and only supply to her beloved Aga, no nice turkey on Christmas day for me then... I however think that it's rude to blame a sweet little child with long blonde hair and big green eyes for such innocent activities... parents that smoke should not leave, under any circumstances, forms of parafinalia around the house to "lure" and "tempt" with, it's not big and it's certainly not clever!
I'm still in trouble!.................. HELP!!
(Mon 7th Nov 2005, 10:50, More)