b3ta.com user llama patrol
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Profile for llama patrol:
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About Me?

Well, I'm an average thirty-something computer programmer, part time musician, and social drinker. I somehow think I'm still a teenager.

I live in Northamptonshire, where nothing much happens, and I work in Oxfordshire, where nothing much happens. This may be the cause of the aforementioned drinking.

I'm also an occasional grower of chilis. This is a random picture of one of the chilis I farmed.

Chalky's Chili

Why Am I Here?

I'm representing the Llama Patrol, who are not based in Helsinki.

I should mention that the Llama Patrol is in no way affiliated with Jeff Minter.

What's Next?

More posts to b3ta I hope. I've been a member for over two years and have only recently started posting anything.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Karma

Karmic Cycle
Definitely near-instantaneous Karma in action. I think this was last Summer.

I was out for a ride on my bike, and I'd decided to head out into the countryside. There I was, wheezing along (I'm not the fittest of chaps) and suddenly I was almost knocked to the ground by a car full of insult-shouting Chavs.

Annoyed as I was, I carried on cyling. Upon turning a bend in the road, I was delighted to find the same car on it's side in the ditch, with the aforementioned Chavs standing around holding their heads in disbelief.

I felt kind of smug as I rode past.
(Fri 22nd Feb 2008, 16:14, More)

» Hotel Splendido

Queens Hotel
I'm starting to remember quite a few dodgy hotel stories now.

Queens Hotel in North London is always quite an experience. Exposed carpet tacks waiting to cut your feet during the night; exposed wiring on the lights; the cupboard in the downstairs room that opens to reveal the main electrical distribution point.

Still, it's not so bad really, as it's dirt cheap and in a reasonable part of London. Perfect for groups of drunken lads.

Last time we were there, my friend's disappearance into his room was followed by the kind of smashing glass sound you hear in a Tom & Jerry cartoon. We went rushing in to see what had happened, and apparently when he opened the window the glass fell out.

I have pictorial evidence of the experience here:

The offending window
Broken glass

I can't wait until we stay there again!
(Fri 18th Jan 2008, 13:11, More)

» Cheap Tat

Got a cheap excercise bike thing from Argos. According to the LCD display, I'd done about 0.5km when the left pedal snapped off.
(Mon 7th Jan 2008, 12:04, More)

» Hotel Splendido

Whitehouse Hotel
Does anyone know of/remember the Whitehouse Hotel in Nottingham, and if so, do they know if it's still there?

I don't have any bad stories about the place - it was rather good actually.

I did find it somewhat strange that no matter what time of the morning our drunken group staggered back there, the old fella was ALWAYS still sitting in front of the TV waiting to let us in. He didn't speak good English, so I'm not sure if he greeted us or moaned at us for being so late.

Many a Rock City trip ended with us staggering back there at 3.30am. Ah, good times.
(Fri 18th Jan 2008, 15:27, More)

» Hotel Splendido

Hotel Dover
There was a hotel I stayed at in Dover about five years ago. I can't remember what it was called, but it did have a delightful view of the container lorries queueing at the entrance to the ferry port.

I'm not going to list everything that went wrong, or I'll be here all day. Over the course of the stay we suffered:

1) No hot water on many occasions;
2) Complete lighting failure - although at least the room seemed less grubby when you could't actually see anything;
3) Numerous mornings with no breakfast on account of the cook not turning up;
4) Toilet door handle that jammed during the night when I was desperate - hope nobody used the wash basin in the adjacent room until it was thoroughly cleaned!

To top it all off, we were not given any front door keys, but were informed that the doors were not locked until midnight. Since the pubs all shut at 11pm back then, this would not have been a problem.

Unfortunately when we came rolling back drunk at 11:00 on the first night, the doors had actually been locked already. After much hammering on the door, a member of hotel staff appeared who looked and sounded alarmingly like Manuel of Fawlty Towers fame. "Issa no my fault, sí?"

On the bright side, we complained bitterly on the last morning and got the bill reduced to half price.

Length joke: Five nights I'm afraid.
(Fri 18th Jan 2008, 9:33, More)
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