b3ta.com user torture bunny
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» I met a weirdo on the interweb

i talk to many weirdos an these two have got to be my favourites:

vampire boy: 14 year old boy who told me he was a vampire. he said he got drunk one night at a party when a vampire bit him. i had great fun taking the piss - he stopped emailing me because i wouldn't be his girlfriend

the chosen one: some boy who said that the voices coming from his microwave told him to " go forth and spread the message of peace"
i laughed for days after reading that one.
i sent one back that said "my toaster says you lie"
(Fri 17th Mar 2006, 17:52, More)

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

she's alive
i was at one of those open casket things
for someone i didn't know. as someone approached
the casket my dad let out the ultimate fart.
sounded like he had shat himself.

the whole room went quiet - not sure
if they heard it, my dad just pointed
at the casket and whispered in my ear
"she's alive"
i had to leave the room. once outside i
nearly pissed myself laughing
(Mon 15th May 2006, 19:12, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

in the park
me and three friends were really bored so decided to go to the "haunted" part of the park where no one went.
it was surrounded by bushes.
so we were sat on the floor with a load of pieces of paper in a circle with different letters an numbers on.
as we were contacting the "dark side" we heard moaning.now we were all scared cos no one we were with
had done it.
then it got really scary because the noises were louder. so my friend said "what do you want?"
and put his hand on the can we were using as a pointer.

then this voice shouted
" i want you to shut the fuck up! i'm tryin to sleep here".
the local tramp was sat behind the bushes.
(Thu 20th Apr 2006, 17:42, More)

» Shame

dancin in the street
Well i used to try everything to embarrass my mum. I decided while we wer waiting for my sister to come out of a shop to dance infront of the security camera. As planned my mum went bright red and dragged me away. I was ten at the time. Now i'm 15 and my older cousin works in the shop. Apparently they still have the tape of me dancing like a retarded monkey.
(Mon 28th Nov 2005, 20:32, More)

» Missing body parts

heart beat
it always makes me laugh at school when
they ask you to find your pulse and theres
always some retard who can't find
there pulse so says " i haven't got one"

its usually me.
(Thu 1st Jun 2006, 19:34, More)
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