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Me with my guitar, in my band "The Shrykes"

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» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

At school
This slightly plump girl in my form said she wanted to join the army. So naturally, I asked her if she was going to be a bomb, she didn't like that. She didn't want to be a tank either - I checked.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 19:39, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Mr Wilkinson
He taught us history and was pretty much blind and deaf. Favourite tricks were knocking on the desks, to make him shout "come in" and pretending to speak but not actually making noise, which would make him check his hearing aid.

Once, I asked to go to the toilet, and such was his deafness, he assumed I'd answered a question right, so he gave me a merit (our school reward system)

He's dead now though.
(Wed 9th Nov 2005, 17:41, More)

» Panic Buying

My Friend's Birthday
He was very happy to recieve:
2 doorstops
a marrow
some sugar puffs
2 replacement sink plugs
the offer of sex (refused)
but then neither of us are homosexual.
(Mon 2nd Jan 2006, 13:41, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Daryl!
This isn't really a story of a nickname, but I think I'll include it anyway.

There's a kid called Daryl at my school, he's quite quiet, and not one of the popular kids. Once, in a lesson, he did something or other wrong, cue somebody shouting: "Daryyllll" in a sarcastic tone. This then became the phrase for whenever anything went wrong, ever. If the projector didn't work in assembly? "Darylll".

Anyway, this tomfoolery reached its peak when instead of saying "cheese" for the school photograph, about 800 boys and 200 girls were instructed to say "Daryl".

He is yet to comment.
(Fri 19th May 2006, 8:57, More)

» Heckles

On the bus
On the schoolbus when I was a few years younger, and wore glasses, big school bully says "your glasses make you look like a rat" my reply: "your face makes you look like a twat", cue much applause for rhyming comeback.
(Sat 8th Apr 2006, 14:42, More)
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