b3ta.com user MadAdamUk
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» I met a weirdo on the interweb

... I was happily on my pc watching tv etc and my msn window pops up. Hello, who's this i say to myself. Oh, its *so-and-so* off *so-and-so site*. Now with me being all of 19 years of age and the dude being about 26 or something like that and me only just being able to remember where i knew him from (msgplus u rule), i was surprised to be asked the following as the opening line:

"Do you have any pictures of your ex-gf's naked that you wanna trade?"

"Umm no i say" - Whether i had or not i wasn't going to share them with him!
"but, since you ask, you must have some pics of your ex's right?"

"yes, i'll send you them"

And true to his word, the kind chap did. And by god his ex's were fucking gorgeous I tell thee! It may have been an odd internet guy, but he did send me pics of his exs naked and they WERE hot.
(Fri 17th Mar 2006, 23:37, More)

» Debt pron

Now that makes sense!
Just noticed all the adsense banners across the top of the QOTW*. I mean, I was told about all of these wonderful ways of getting into debt and then these banners on the top offered me a way out. I clicked on one to see what offers i could get. I managed to get a 25k loan at 50%. Thats HALF PRICE!!!

EDIT: Now I've had a cunning plan, I'll get me another. I can make a good 12.5k per loan. Then I'll be rich! Stupid banks...

*Appears when not logged in

All in good proportion...
(Wed 29th Nov 2006, 9:55, More)

» I witnessed a crime

Not so much witnessed...
Not so much witnessed by myself, althoguh I heard the noise and commotion caused by it.

Security guards can be awful. I often think that it is better to have no security than the poor effort you get from some of them. First a little bit of background.

I live in some halls of accomodation in Sheffield. These halls have 24/7 security guards, electronic locks all over the place and CCTV covering every entry point. However, when the security guards are so inept it can be difficult to see the point of all this stuff we pay for. ou're lucky to get one that understands and speaks english, I've more than once had to play scherades with a security guard so I could understand what he was trying to say! Our security are SUPPOSED to monitor the cameras and then do a tour of the premises every hour or so, whilst having a radio+mobile on them to recieve any calls. There is asecurity buzzer box thing in the foyer that puts us right through to them. You can often come back and just witness them watching Sky sports on the receptions giant plasma or even better, asleep with their feet up on the nice leather sofas in plain view of the entrance to the site. Now to the story...

A drunken girl comes home from partying out that night, she is on her own on returning to our halls. She has lost her key and cannot get into the building. She has however managed to get into the compound by flagging down the security guard who recognises her face (or her chest). He lets her in through the firs electronic gate, then through the next electronic door into the halls buildings. She has by this time let him know she cannot find her key and is wailing like a banshee whilst flailing her arms like an inefficient windmill. She is finding it difficult to retain her upright position and so the security guard very kindly holds her up and helps her into the building and up the stairs. She lets him know which flat and room she lives in so he can let her in. He not only lets her into her flat but then into her individual room too (funny how it was locked from the inside though...). He then stands there checking she is able to get undressed and into bed - just as all good perverted security guards do! Then walks off. I mentioned the door was locked from the inside, this is because this is not the drunken girls room. It is infact some other poor sods room and this other poor sod is fast asleep in her bed in there. Drunken girl gets in to the bed, realises there is someone else in there too. Starts kicking and screaming and generally beating the shit out of this poor girl. Security guard comes back as he hears the commotion as he is leaving (if he'd gone any further who knows what would have happened!). He watches the fight for a few moments before realising what has happened and seperates the girls. The girl who was asleep in her own locked room is now unconscious and has to be taken to hospital as a result of the drunken girl turning her seven shades of purple. Imagine being woken up like that...

An example of when 'security' goes wrong.
(Fri 15th Feb 2008, 15:11, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

Not so much me...
... but a friend of mine. Well, i call him a friend but really he was one of the most fucked-up people i have ever known.

I won't mention that his name was Aaron Wood because that might be unfair. But i digress.

He always used to spend his time constantly going on about the latest girl he had met on the internet. And the one time he came in and told us all baout how much in love they were and how they were getting married. Even though they'd never met or anything. Cue us all getting quite amused and taking the piss. Till we found out she didn't actually exist.

So he made up that he had this hot new girlfriend on the internet, then how he'd never met her, then how they were getting married...

Odd boy that one
(Fri 17th Mar 2006, 13:09, More)

» My most gullible moment

The lengths we had to go to for this one
A few friends and myself once set about the task of fooling one of our not-so-gullible friends into something of epic proportions. If it was to work we would need to research our topics heavily and be able to give detailed information on all topics involved, just slightly edited here and there to fit our purposes. Now this was someone who wasn't going to be easy to fool at all and would easily smell something fishy, so we were going to have to go about it with faces of pure honesty. We actually practiced these faces and told the lie to ourselves so many times that we knew we could confidently tell this story without them suspecting a thing!

I will just hint at the topic of the lie here - you can get the full details and reaction piccies after the jump (it was a very detailed and lengthy blog post ^_^):
England, Bananas, Conspiracy, Disease
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 11:14, More)
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