b3ta.com user Barry from Botton
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» Stupid Dares

Egg
I bet my mate he couldn't swallow a whole boiled egg, he was adamant that he could do it so I bet him a tenner. On goes the pan 5 mins later he has a boiled egg, sticks it in his mouth and swallows, job done! Suddenly he breaks down almost in tears, the egg had split and having not boiled it for long enough the still runny yolk had come out burning his throat like molten laver! He had trouble eating and talking for a while, never did give him the tenner.
(Thu 1st Nov 2007, 17:34, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

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In my first city job I used to go out drinking at lunch most days, one sunny afternoon we went out for a particularly heavy session for this guys birthday and proceeded to neck 8 pints of Stella. Upon my return to the office around 4pm I decided it would be a good idea to send him a message that read 'You're a horse stroking cock sucker'. A few minutes after sending the message he hadn't replied, so I checked the sent item and realised that I'd sent it to Sarah of the same surname in the Guernsey branch rather than Simon who was sitting next to me.

I immediately sent and apologetic e mail but unfortunately she had already sent it to her manager.

The following day I got called into my bosses office where he sat me down and said 'Do the words, Horse stroking cock sucker mean anything to you?' I couldn't help laughing and luckily he thought it was pretty funny too! Eventually Sarah saw the funny side of it as well and dropped the complaint.
(Wed 15th Aug 2007, 18:10, More)