b3ta.com user babyaeroplanes
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» How clean is your house?

I lived in really dodgy private halls which was actually a bad boys home that'd been taken over by a dodgy letting agent.
Basically it was a 30 bedroom house surrounded by bars that'd been given to a bunch of students, the place was absolutely disgusting and the cleaner quit a couple weeks in and wasn't replaced.
About 3 weeks after I moved in, and due to my room being minus a lock and useable window, I was moved in to one of my friends rooms (who'd upgraded himself to an ensuite).
The room had a sink in it.
Into the sink Owen had shaved his hair and then before bothering to clean this out, been sick.
Then he'd moved.
Leaving me with a lovely sinkful of hairy sick.
It's not easy to convince hairy sick to go down the plughole.
(Thu 25th Mar 2010, 13:47, More)

» Cars

Kind of strange
When we were younger my parents took me and siblings up to Nottingham to visit our cousins. About halfway home and on the motorway we realised that the boot of the car had sprung open and Mum had to pull over and sort the boot out. We live in a little cul de sac. When we were coming up to our road we saw a coat lying in the entrance to the cul de sac. It was my sisters coat. The coat had a badge on it from Sherwood Forest, proving that it cant have fallen out on the way...
(Mon 26th Apr 2010, 14:18, More)

» Cars

dangerous driving
When I was a teenager one of my best friends should probably never have been allowed to drive. Am not condoning dangerous driving and like to think that as token girl (aka 'cautious') I saved a few lives. Here are a few examples of his particular brand of driving...

1. Driving to Eynsford because he wanted to try and drive through a fjord. When we got there it was really deep due to recent rainfalls but he decides to drive through it anyway. Cue window high water levels. Car floor rattles all the way home.

2. Decides to swap Corsa for a BMW with a guy from Norwich. Get there. Whilst sale is progressing get chatted up by a teenager whose main line was; ‘I’ve just spent 4 years in juvy’. Finding out the BMW is the biggest pile of wank possible but is able to drive at 140 miles an hour until it breaks about a week later.

3. Him and another of our friends get into the back of a car with a priest in the front seat and beat him up from behind. To be fair on them – the priest was his Mums boyfriend who he’d just found out had beaten her up. If you're going to avoid a beating by running over to hide in car, remember to lock all doors.

4. With a different friend chasing me up the hill in the car whilst I’m riding my bike. He and Andy are both leaning out of the windows with their feet and arms inside car but heads outside. They also attempt driving with his head outside the roof window.

5. Being at a traffic light when he revs the engine of his carone car. 5 other cars misunderstand intentions and rev too. Fuck it, we end up having a need for speed-esque 6 car race.

6. Whilst I was at uni he came to pick me and my friend Adam up from the coach stop up London. At one point of the journey he was rolling a hash joint whilst driving the car when a massive hot rock fell down and started burning a hole in his top that noone realised until he stopped at the traffic lights.

7. For a while he had a van and the boys would sit in the back whilst he tried to knock them out by driving really fast over pot holes and etc.

8. Him knocking out my friend Tony when neither of them would back down from a game of chicken in which L was driving towards him downhill and Tony would not move.

9. And of course the massive relief when he got banned from driving…
(Mon 26th Apr 2010, 12:39, More)

» Cars

My Mum used to get really jealous on long car journeys with her male cousins because if they needed a wee they'd be told to 'tie a knot in it', and so for years of childhood she thought that boys were able to tie up their willies to prevent themselves from needing a wee...
(Thu 22nd Apr 2010, 14:43, More)

» Best and worst TV ads

Crunchie Advert
Noone ever seems to remember the Crunchie advert with Marcus Brigstock. What happens if you eat a Crunchie when you already have that Friday Feeling?

This geeze eats a Crunchie at a football match and ends up cheering on Anglers and the woman in the cafe was she puts sugar in his tea.

Cant find any evidence of this online, and the only person I've mentioned it to who remembered it is the kind of guy who would probably claim to remember the falling of London Bridge if you told him it'd happened.
(Thu 15th Apr 2010, 16:19, More)
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