» Join us... come join the cult

I'm in a cult...
I joined it through the internet. They have no real aims, targets or beleifs, but have a fascination with kittens, status quo and ketamine (it's not just for horses).
Sometimes I wake up at my computer. Sacred Overload Rob will have enticed our souls into another trance and I'll be drooling all over the keyboard and hitting the 'F5' key.
Every week they push us further; setting challenges which send us into photoshopping frenzies.

Its hell. And I can't escape.
(Mon 30th Jan 2006, 8:48, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

I have hundreds of these sorts of stories...
When I was about 11 I found porn on my dad's PC. Nothing too outrageous, although I'd never seen anythig like it before so it was a shock

About a week later I found a USB pen drive full of pictures of my mother. Bad, bad memories.

Since then I've been caught out by various family members on the Max Power and FHM websites... I'm only there for the cars ;-)

I knew my brother was gay a long time before he came out, partially due to the 6 gay porn DVDs and the 40GB of pictures and movies on his computer.

About a year ago, my old pc died and I had to use my dad's machine. I think he looked at the site history afterwards, which is why he made a few... embarrasing... jokes that weekend.

Just after christmas I went round to my mate's flat. I knocked on the door and he answered, partially dressed and sweaty. I asked if I could use his PC and was confronted by no less than 40 tabs in mozilla of pre-op transvestites (the slogan was 'chicks with dicks'), some sock fetish thing, and sex with horses.

But I turned out fine.
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 12:42, More)

» Urban Legends

Until I was 12 or 13...
... I believed that men had periods in their 50s and 60s which is why they stop having kids and get grey hair.

My mates still don't let me forget it.

Bastards.
(Mon 9th Jan 2006, 0:13, More)

» I met a weirdo on the interweb

My ex
... Was *one* of those internet weirdos. After we split up last christmas, I found out that she'd slept with between 3 and 6 blokes she'd met on faceparty, while she was still with me.

She denied it of course, but when 2 of them find your profile and contact you, its kind of hard to turn a blind eye... And then her best friend told me about it too.

She was a fat mofo, too. I mean HUGE. What was I thinking?
(Mon 20th Mar 2006, 20:59, More)

» School fights

Back in the day
When I was in primary school, year 6 I think, I had a bit of a fight with the 'hard lad'.

One week in the winter, him and the 'popular boys' were playing football in the playground... The ball got kicked my way, so I just tapped it to one side. And scored a goal.
Unfortunatly 'Rob Mac' or whatever his name was didn't like this, so toppled me and kicked me in the face a few times. Fractured nose, nurses office, he got expelled for a day.

A few days after he is back, he stole my brother's (who was in year 4 at the time) straw trilby hat, of which he was very fond of. I walked over to Rob Mac and asked for it back, and got a punch in the stomach.

I then proceeded to kick him in the nuts, push him over and then stamp on his fingers. Took the hat, got crowned as school hero for all of lunchtime.

Bastard never stole my brother's hat again*

* he did, however, kick the shit out of me on numerous occasions at secondary school, along with his somewhat burly friends.
(Tue 14th Mar 2006, 0:48, More)