b3ta.com user Wheeler
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» Phobias

Snake? Snake? Snaaaaaaaaaaake?

Those big, heavy dealies that you find on boats and submarines. I've had nightmares about them before, and I came close to passing out from just seeing one propped up against the wall in a museum. It's more an irrational fear I guess, but they still freak me the hell out. I even got the shivers from just seeing one in Medal of Honor; Frontline. I don't like dirty dock/river water either, so if there's a propeller half submerged in a dock, that just gives me the case of the heebie jeebies.

And why? I have NO idea. I fail to remember any childhood incident that would have me scared of these things.

Also, snakes. Not Snake, because I'd tap that any day of the week, but the slithery creatures. I don't think they're slimy or anything, heck, as a young Miss Wheeler, I held a boa constructor around my neck. It's more that some of the feckers can chose to poison you, blind you, squeeze you to death or even freakin' EAT you. That's not right. We saw a pit of adders on a school walk once, and I had nightmares for weeks about falling in there. I can trace back this phobia though, when I was young, I remember a huge ass snake (musta been a slow worm) stretched out in the grass when I was playing, and my mum freaked and yanked me away from it, even though it was harmless.

Cheers, mum. Now snakes on teh internets give me the creeps. Except that happy snake macro, I'm fine with that.
(Thu 10th Apr 2008, 14:42, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

I was hospitalised last year due to Cellulitus of the face, and given that I was nineteen at the time, I had to stay on a ward with a lot of old wrinklies. (too old for the awesome Children's ward, but then at least I didn't have a censor time on my TV) I was easily the youngest there by a good forty years. The ward had eight beds, the lady to my right was wonderful, chatty, and such a kind person. The one to my left had been motionless from the moment I was admitted there, and all she ever really did was breathe raspily as she stared up at the ceiling. She didn't eat or anything, and there was a lot of hushed talk about her dying. A few days into my stay, they drew the curtains around her, giving her privacy in her final moments.

So it was really sod's law that they were drawn back when she did die. Because it was during 'rest hour' I was watching TV, the rest of the old biddies were asleep like the nurses suggested. I happened to glance over when the lights were switched back on, and said lady was flat out on her back, staring up at the ceiling with... the most horrific expression I have ever seen. It was as if she had been dragged kicking and screaming from her mortal coil. As soon as the nurses realised, the curtains were pulled tight about her bed again, and they went into the procedure of calling back the various relatives who had been around her almost constantly the past few days.

They seem to think that she died at the beginning of the rest hour, when her relatives had left the room, that she held on just long enough for them to go. The idea that I had a dead body in the bed next to me whilst I was watching Daddy Daycare was pretty unsettling. They didn't even move the body until a few hours later, granted I couldn't see her, but the idea of her being there chilled me right to the bone. They pulled all of our curtains across when they did wheel her out, thankfully, but still... it wasn't nice. That night all I could see was her wrinkled face, staring up at me.

The very best part of this being? Happy Birthday to me. Best way to spend my twentieth birthday ever.

That said, reading through some of the other answers here, I realise that I've been really lucky. None of my close friends of relatives have died, other than an aunt a few years ago, and even then we weren't close.
(Fri 29th Feb 2008, 20:30, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Back at first school...
My best friend and I were playing a game, some imagination malarky, the important thing being that she chose her name to be 'Gaye'. A playground assistant overheard us playing, and we were taken off the playground and into the cloakroom for a telling off over using the word 'gay'. We tried to explain that we were playing a game and it was the NAME 'Gaye' we were using, but would she have any of it? Fat slag.

I don't know why she was even there. She was the mother of a girl in our class, but whether she was an official assistant or what, who knows. When I flashed my pants in school, she was the old hag who kept going 'don't forget to go to the headteachers office at THREEE' whilst I was scared shitless. And when her precious little daughter was running around pulling our skirts down? NOTHING. Gah.

Uhh.. off topic. But yeah, the whole 'Gaye' thing. Then again, this was a school that confused the heck out of us by suddenly telling us we had to pronounce 'Jesus' as 'Jesu' in the school hymns.
(Sat 24th Nov 2007, 18:42, More)

» Teenage Parties

Teenage kicks RIGHT through the night
I was a mite of fifteen when I went to my first alcohol doused party. I don't remember an awful lot about it, but I do remember throwing up and wetting myself at the same time. That was pretty aewsome.

One New Year, I seem to remember everyone there tonguing everyone else.. and I think the ratio was something like.. 4 guys to 8 girls. Yeah. Ended up making out with me ex most of the night. That was back in the day when I could get pissed as a newt on barcadi breezers.

Now its sadly a tad more expensive.
(Sun 16th Apr 2006, 0:39, More)

» Pathological Liars

Polish Princess
In most classes at school you get the 'weird kid'. And during primary and secondary school, that weird kid was someone I'll call Sam, for that was her name. She had a piss poor homelife, her mother was an absolute skank beast of a woman (who had the hots for my old man), and her eldest brother was arrested this year for kiddy fiddling.

Anyway, Sam used to tell the most incredible lies. I suppose it was in an attempt to be liked amongst her peers. She claimed that she was a Polish princess, and that she was betrothed to some smexy Polish prince, the name who I forgot. In the summer holidays, they apparently went to Poland and went to the lakes and did romancey crap like that. I think she even mentioned that they did the dirty.

She even had supposed letters from him, which she would show us briefly, but not let us read them. I think she said she had a photo, but that it got 'accidentally destroyed'.

I'm pretty sure she also mentioned that she would be in line for the throne if so and so people died, some jizz like that anyway. Of course everyone took the piss out of her for this, even her few friends (one of which was me). No matter what we'd point out to her, she'd insist that it was all true, and run off in a huff/sulk because we didn't believe her.

That was the biggest lie I remember her telling, but I just know that there were heaps more. I think she claimed she did magic once, but sadly my memories of that time include more on my awesome friends, as mean as that sounds.

Length? Not much longer until you get on the throne, princess.
(Thu 29th Nov 2007, 18:53, More)
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