» School Trips

Italy Trip
At my school there was a yearly trip to Italy which was legendary among the students mainly due to the laid back teachers who took us and the abundance of alchohol.

Now this trip was for latin students only...but as there were so few of those they opened it up to everyone eventually, fortunatly I managed to get myself a place on the trip when I was in year 10.

That year the trip was headed to Sorento near Naples on the Italian coast, so we were to go around the area and look at Pompeii and all that...

Its all too long to explain here, so I will just list it all instead:

- Getting stopped and searched at Gatwick because the buiscit crumbs and dust at the bottom of a bag looked like radioactive material on the xray machine.

- Someone taking a photo on the plane whilst leaning on the emergency exit handle on the door whilst flying over the Alps.

- Landing at some military airfield in Rome and being allowed to walk unescorted through pairs of fighter jets whilst the terminal was full of soldiers carrying M16s.

- Coach trip to Sorrento with a very horny 6th former who flashed her breasts to every single lorry between the airport and the hotel.

- Finally ending up at the hotel at 12 at night to find a) it is called the hotel tourist and b) the doors are locked

- Get into the hotel at about 1am to find the beds collapse when you jump on them.

- Getting drunk with all the teachers in the town.

- Getting free ice cream and pizza because we were such great customers!

- Getting given rolls filled with plastic cheese and mouldy ham every day by the hotel (aparently this counted as lunch)

- Getting repeatedly told to keep off the grass at Pompeii and other places by tour guides who believe that a whistle gives them the ultimate power.

- Having the uber horny 6th former stalked by a random Italian man everywhere she went....whilst she flashed everyone....still...

- Breaking absolutely everything in the hotel, the list is somewhat long:
Four Beds
One bathroom door
One bedroom lock
Two wardrobe doors
One window
One fusebox
Six matresses
One TV
Twelve Sheets (which tore so easily)
Two floor tiles
One shower
Three seats
One Lift (which concequently had stereotypically fat American get in it next and have the lift wedge halfway between floors and the whole hotel echoing of the fat American screaming that they are going to die)
and a whole lot more....

- The cliff edge journey where our coach came about an inch from falling off the edge of a 150ft drop.

- Walking around Pompeii where I worked out that all those old big stones make excelent bottle openers.

- Accidently destroying part of Pompeii when a brick fell out of a wall someone was leaning on.

- Throwing packets of jam out of the bedroom window at the police officer directing traffic at the traffic junction below.

Thats about all I can remember at the moment, but I'm sure I will remember some more....


I know I can't tell a good story to save my life, but go on...click "I like this" you know you want to...
(Fri 8th Dec 2006, 21:26, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

The joy of College
My friend learnt not to let anyone alone with his laptop at college after he did one day, and after we got bored of playing games, we decided to find how much of the hard drive he had filled with pron. So we did the usual, bring up cmd and as you do the standard search:
c:\ /s *.jpg
which needless to say seached his whole hard drive for jpg files.....

After a while we noticed that c:\documents and settings\admin\desktop\New Folder\porn\
was appearing for quite a while, so had lots of pictures in it, so we closed cmd and went over to this folder and opened it in full view of everyone.....

The cry of disgust was heard from the next block, and it turns out he has a granny fetish.

Lessons to learn from this are:
1) Dont keep your pron in an easily accessable folder.
2) Dont keep your pron in an easily accessable folder labled porn.
3) Dont keep your pron on a laptop which you take to college regularly.
4) Dont let bored and curious friends near your laptop without your supervision, should it contain a large volume of pron.

How glad I am of my external hard drive!
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 15:43, More)

» School Trips

German Exchange
Now...where to start...

In my first year of 6th Form (Highschool to any septics) I was invited to go along with the german exchange group from the school (The sixth form I go to is attached to a rather large school as well).

Now this was a regular occurunce and was a yearly event for all the German Students who all got a week off to go to Germany to experience the culture first hand. Did I mention I was 16 at the time, which coincidently is the legal drinking age in Germany for beer (as it is also for most of the continent).

Everything was going swimingly, we had all piled onto the coach and managed to make it across to Calais on the ferry without anyone throwing up, unitil we stopped at a Cite Europe or (whatever it is called) in Calais.

This was when me and my mate decided to go shopping for beer to last us the coach journey to Germany. We ended up with about 10 bottles between us on the coach journey without any of the teachers noticing. So far so good!

When we got to the town we were staying at in Germany we got to our various host families houses and crashed out for the night, bear in mind we had been traveling all day and had been up for over 16 hours or so.

The next few days are really a bit of a blur but as far as I could work out they don't have many lessons over there, and when they arent in lessons they're in the pub enjoying a few pints.

Then came the day we went to Colonge, naturally me and my mate went and found a nice bar by the river and enjoyed the local beverages whilst keeping a wary eye out for teachers.

Whilst we were doing this most of the rest of the group had decided to go and hide behind the cathedral (I have no idea how) and ended up getting stoned, on the coach journey back me and my mate were well and truly sloshed but managed to make ourselves at least appear sober. While alot of the kids smelt "alot like marijuana" observed a teacher. Naturally everyone kept quiet.

By the end of the week me and my mate were just getting used to the strength of German beer (which is much stronger than the rats piss larger we had been used to getting here) Just in time for a massive party on the last night where there was me, my mate and one other english kid, who was so sloshed after just one beer that he followed me around for the rest of the night repeating the classic line
"You're English, I trust you..."

By the time we had to catch the coach home the next day my mate and I had bearly sobered up, and so it was a long and boring coach journey for us home. (With the exception of us throwing up over the side of the ferry right onto the kids below us smoking the last of their precious pot before getting back to blighty.)


I know I can't tell a good story to save my life, but go on...click "I like this" you know you want to...
(Fri 8th Dec 2006, 20:47, More)

» Going Too Far

Taking Sport Too Far?
One summertime at school just before we broke up for the holidays a few friends of mine decided to invent a new sport as we were bored one lunch.

Frugby as it was called (for that was its name) was a mixture between Frisbee and Rugby. There were two teams, one defending the goal and one attacking, the attacking team started with the Frug (aka a Frisbee) and they would try to get the Frug into the goal. There were few other rules, this meant that you could take down, injure, maim, rape or whatever you wanted to do to the other team to stop them winning....so this regularly ended up in injuries and the game was banned within the week.


We recently found a video we made of a Frugby match, and in the short 5 minute game, we broke one shoulder bone, one nose as well as miscellaneous other injuries:

The Video @ www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kw4mjoST4s

Frugby, taking sport too far?

Click I like this if you agree! (and do it if you dont as well ;-))
(Tue 14th Nov 2006, 21:02, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

Well, this one time I got on a plane...
....the inflight movie was Final Destination!

You should have seen the faces of the other passengers...classic

Length Girth etc..
(Sun 10th Sep 2006, 13:21, More)