b3ta.com user AlbertTatlock
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» Sacked

Oh the look on his face
I used to work for a company in a shit job destroying vinyl so that we could send it back as a return as damaged, if it didn't sell well. Oh the joy of destroying Danni Minogue 12"s, putting them on the radiator to warp them, tearing the sleeves and running needles across the grooves to scratch them. The company was run by a short arse cunt, (napoleon complex methinks). Anyway the job became irritating, for various reasons and I became angry and this came to a head.

Napoleon calls me into the office and told me that "if you don't like the job, I could get someone else in tomorrow to do it".

Me fuming said "do it!".

I then proceed to vent my spleen, and tell him like it is. After calming down and making it clear I was out of there, he said "So how much notice can you give?".
"Well you can get someone in tomorrow, so I'll go now!".
Oh the look, the "I'm a stupid big mouthed cunt and just painted myself into a corner" and you know it look.
He then backs down and said "Well that puts me is a bad situation".
Me shoots, me scores, result!!
I gave him two weeks and took very good advantage. Nuff said. Doing VERY well, Fuck him hahahah
(Thu 23rd Feb 2006, 22:24, More)

» Heckles

A heckle with no comeback...priceless
I wish I'd been at this show. I heard that Cork comedy audiences are notoriously hard to please. During one performance by London comic, a heckler stands up and says "I can't understand a fecking word this cont is saying!". Before the comic can come back with a witty retort, another punter stands up on the other side of the room and says "I saw him in London last week, he wasn't funny there either." Que a lead balloon of a perfomance.
(Tue 11th Apr 2006, 16:26, More)