b3ta.com user The Fretful Porpentine
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(Sat 22nd Mar 2003, 20:21, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Picky Eaters

My friend...
....Chaim Goldberg won't eat pork, no idea why
(Thu 1st Mar 2007, 14:42, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

My brother...
...told his kids that when the ice cream van man plays his tune it means that he's run out.
(Sat 17th Jan 2004, 9:24, More)

» Food sabotage

More of a pre-emptive revenge.

I had "Make 2 gallons of mayonnaise" on my work list. I got all the ingredients together and got to work on the pedestal mixer and just when I thought the time was right I ran off to get a half pint of hot water to "set" the mayo.

I got to the hot water still to find that everyone in the building had just made tea and there was no hot water. I ran back to the mixer to stop it and heard the horrible "slop, slop, slop" noise of a lot of fucked up mayonnaise - yolks and oil split, a nightmare to rectify in that quantity - Unless you tip in half a cup of sugar and an eggcup of lemony fresh washing up liquid. Job's a good'un

I save face and get the satisfaction of knowing that our customers are eating "free range, freshly made mayo" with poundworld washing up liquid. Nice.
(Fri 19th Sep 2008, 0:48, More)

» This book changed my life

Roger Hargreaves' (Mr Men author) lesser known book..
Are You A Roundy or a Squary.

It taught me that Roundies like flowers and that Squaries pick flowers.
(Fri 16th May 2008, 23:19, More)