» Missing body parts

I lost my finger....
Well, i lost some of it. I was about seven years old and had my lovely yellow Raleigh Boxer turned upside down. I was, as was the craze in my street at the time, bending the mudgard onto the wheel, and then turning the pedals to make it sound like a motorbike - brum brum.

Anyway, next thing i know, my finger is stuck right inside the bike chain (i was told later - i was tickled by a girl - although i have no idea if this was true) I had to slowly unwind the chain to get my finger out - which was hanging by a thread. Cue all my mates running over to the house and banging on the door making absolutely no sense, as i calmly strolled over and proclaimed "Dad, I've cut my finger off"

Cue a rush to the hopsital, where they reattached my finger. For the next six months, my schooldays consisted of going in, sitting in the library and reading books. Great stuff. I used to love my reading. Took years for my handwriting to recover though.

(2nd time lasted a lot longer than the first)
(Wed 7th Jun 2006, 7:11, More)

» Sacked

Sacked
I once worked in a holiday camp as a barman on the border of Scotland. Straight after uni a gang of us went up to work on the bar.

The manager of the bar decided to start seeing one of the girls we worked with (he was already married/engaged) and she was - well quite hot. I'd had a 'sort of fling' with her for a while at Uni and desire still simmered somewhere.

One night the i got absolutely hammered and made a bit of a prick of myself - drinking the managers beer and trying to set him up with two flusies who happened to be in the bar that night. I also then told him not to mess the 'other girl' around as i 'wouldn't be happy'. (He probably outweighed me by three stone and probably would have killed me). Then in a bit of a haze - i managed to find myself alone with the woman later on and (was told), tried to kiss her. She was having none of it.

Next day turned up for work feeling more than a bit sheepish to the words from the boss 'Dont worry about it, no problem'.
'Great' i thought, got away with that one.
8 hours later i was informed by the assistant manager - who was completely bemused, that the manager wasn't happy with me. 20 mins later i was told to leave the next day.

I thought the manager was a prick - but as it turned out - he married the girl and they are living happily ever after in Australia. So he must have been alright after all.

Wasn't too happy about being sacked though, we were having a great laugh getting pissed and stoned every night after work.
Those we're the days.
(Popped my cherry at long last)
(Mon 27th Feb 2006, 0:27, More)