» Have you ever paid for sex?

I will make you an offer you can't refuse...
Several years back, while on a booze-fuelled trip to Benedorm (disgusting place) my friend and I were sort of between bars - looking for the next one, that is - when a man seemed somehow to sense our thirst, approached us and promised us a place with lots of cheap alcohol and beautiful girls. This didn't sound too bad so we went along. On entering said place, we realised that the guy probably hadn't been perfectly impartial as the drinks were ridiculously expensive and the ladies seemed rather... businesslike, to say the least. It slowly dawned on us that we had unwittingly wandered into one of the most notorious brothels in Benidorm. Obviously we were immediately beset by ladies of the night offering their services. Neither of us was in any condition for the goods being offered (besides, most of them seemed to have passed their "consume by" - date) so we decided to bugger off. The only problem was that they seemed to view this as haggling. So they followed us out the door, trying to cut us a deal.

The most persistent one was a middle aged, black lady, rather overweight, who finally grabbed my mates' arm and uttered the immortal words:

"Hey! You - me - your friend ... 5000 pesetas!" (~£20)

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had accepted...
(Sun 22nd Jan 2006, 23:51, More)

» Mugged

Damned hookers...
A friend of mine was robbed by a hooker in Barcelona recently (and not in the buisness kind of way...)

Said woman accosted him late one night on the Ramblas offering her services. My friend politely declined, whereupon the woman left, having relieved him of his wallet.

He didn't notice anything.

Then some bloke walks up to him, speaking some gibberish (i.e. spanish) and pointing at his wallet. My friend, in his slightly drunken state, decides that this guy is going to rob him and sort of waves him away with some "i-don't-have-any-money" line or other and walks off. The guy is persistant, though, and follows him for a while, speaking in tounges and pointing at his wallet. My friend kindly points out to him that he has no intention of parting with his wallet and the guy finally gives up.

The next day, when my friend finds his wallet missing, all falls into place. The guy had actually be saying something along the lines of: "Look, mate, this hooker just took your wallet!"

If the guy had intended to mug him, why would he have shown my friend the wallet, fer chrissakes?!?
(Wed 21st Jun 2006, 13:24, More)